My Last Suicide Attempt

Taylor

Taylor: Hey, Katania did you get home?

Me: NO!

Taylor: Then how do you have your phone?

Me: Leave me alone.

Taylor: I won't, do you wanna hang out later?

Me: NO!

Taylor: Okay meet me at polo?

Me: Fine.

Taylor: Good.

Me: You have a girly name...

Taylor: Shut up.

I rolled my eyes and chucked my phone down on my bed standing up to go get dresses. Ugh he is probably going to try and annoy me every day now. It’s just my kind of luck too. I threw on just a pair of ripped black jeans and a ripped up band tee. I like cutting up my clothes. I walked out the door unnoticed once again. It kind of ticks me off because it seems like my parents don't care about me. They were always there for my sisters. But now? No. It makes me think that there has to be something wrong with me for them to not like me or something. Did I do something to make them hate me?

I sighed out heavily as I walked slowly to my bus stop. I hate having to take two buses everywhere. It always seems like two buses here two buses there. And shit, let's not forget about school tomorrow. Everybody is going to be whispering about me some will even laugh.

OMG! Everybody will hate me even more. I guess I deserve it...

I was fiddling with my hands while on the bus after a while and I noticed I scratched open one of my cuts. Damn it, I hate it when shit like this happens.

"I never see you smile." I looked up to the person who spoke to me. He’s in my history class. "I like your smile. You should do it more," I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Why would I do that?" Something flashed in his eyes like he knew something.

The smile I didn't know I was wearing faltered.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I---

He stammered.

"Shh," I smiled back at him "it's okay a lot of people know now."

I looked away and smiled to myself. Was I changing?

"Well you know I've never seen you take this bus before did you just move to this area recently?"

I shook my head "No."

"Do you parent drive you?"

"No I walk."

"You walk to school?" He looked at me with his hazel eyes like I was crazy.

I laughed and shook his head.

"So?" he questioned.

"I seriously do walk," I sighed and smiled "I like walking."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

The conversation died just as fast as it began. I am not one to really keep a conversation going anymore. I looked at my phone.

Taylor: Where are you?????? You’re so slow!!

Me: Shut up girl.

Taylor: -_-

Me: XD

I made it to the bus stop and the boy from history looked at me like he was expecting an answer.

"What?"

"I asked you where you off to?"

"Oh, I didn't hear you," I glance at my phone "Um, Polo."

"Who you meeting there? I don't see you even hang out with anyone at school," His eyes popped open wide "I didn't mean--

I slapped my hand over his mouth.

"Don’t worry I know. My friend, Taylor."

"Is she nice? Does she go to a school?"

"First of all he and is this 20 questions or something?" He looked down and we slide onto the bus and sat beside each other "he goes to a different school and yes he is nice. He helped me." I smiled I know even though I didn't want the help I guess I needed it. I still want to break down and do it once and for all but I don't know. There's this odd feeling I have today.

The rest of the ride was consumed by me and Dane talking. I laughed and smiled a lot. Even though it was only for 15 minutes I really liked spending time with him.

It was easy to talk with him freely and I liked it. He may even be one of my friends in the future. I even think Taylor may be friend now too.

With that though on my mind, I walked up to the entrance of the mall smiling and walked right into Taylor’s warm hug.