Can you love me now, Zayn?

Chapter 2

Mike was easy to talk to. Zayn had forgotten what it was like to spend time with someone who didn't communicate mostly in shrugs, glares, or one word responses, someone who would look him in the eye when he spoke to him, someone who was normal, someone who was EASY to be around. An adult.

He didn't realize how much he'd been missing it. Life with Harry was anything but easy. He loved him, Zayn truly did love Harry – but everything was just so fucking difficult all the time. Zayn's relationship with Harry was a study in patience. He had to be careful of what he said, how he said it, how quickly he moved – anything could throw Harry off. Could make him panic, make him afraid, it was so difficult to walk on eggshells all the time. It was exhausting, and Zayn needed to get away sometimes, to just leave Harry at home and go spend some time with someone he could be with without having to carefully measure and weigh everything he said or did. Someone who he could laugh with and not be worried he might accidentally offend somehow. He could have called Liam, he SHOULD have called Liam, but he didn't, and that had been his first mistake of the evening.

After looking at some photos that Mike had taken, Mike asked Zayn if he'd want to meet him for dinner later. Zayn was eager for a night out, one without the petulant, sulky, brooding, moody pain in the ass that he lived with and he'd said yes, without hesitation. He'd lied to Harry, telling him he had to meet someone for work and he probably wouldn't be back until late, that had been mistake number two.

Then he got dressed and left, anxious to get out of the house.

Dinner with Mike had gone well. Mike was smart, funny, good looking and easy to talk to. He was a big guy, broad shoulders, standing at least 6 foot 2, very muscular, as though he worked out at the gym every day, if Zayn had to guess.

But then Zayn started getting a vibe from him, a vibe he didn't like, that maybe Mike was after more than just a business relationship. Zayn thought he was over-reacting, maybe Mike was just a flirtatious guy, maybe he didn't mean anything by it. When they left the restaurant and Mike asked if he wanted to go for drinks, Zayn protested at first, but he let Mike talk him into it – he didn't put up much of a fight about it either, he would later realize.

A few Jack Daniel's later and they were both feeling pretty good. The bar they were in was thumping with music and the drinks were flowing. Zayn knew it was one of Harry's favorite places, although it could be loud, there were quiet spots around the perimeter booths that Harry loved to sit in so he could people watch without having to interact with humans too much. 

It was a nice light-hearted atmosphere, Mike and Zayn laughed as they talked about stupid things: work, relationships, their experiences at university, casual conversations about nothing terribly deep. When Mike asked Zayn if he wanted to dance, Zayn thought, 'why not?' He was in a good mood, enjoying his freedom from Mr. Mood-Swing back home.

Then Mike got handsy, and Zayn put a stop to it immediately. "Look, Mike, I like you, you're a cool guy and I think we could be friends, but I'm in love with Harry. He means everything to me and whatever you thought was going to happen here is definitely NOT going to happen. If I made you think otherwise, then I'm sorry".

Mike didn't take rejection well, instantly angry he said, "I can't believe you're attached to that kid. He's dragging you down. You're not even happy with him, are you? Not really. I can see it all over your face, if you were, you wouldn't be here with me right now. Let's just have a little fun, nobody needs to know".

"No", said Zayn, adamantly backing away. He wasn't the kind of guy to cheat. He didn't WANT to cheat. He loved Harry – sure, he could be frustrating and temperamental – he wasn't EASY to live with. He wasn't even EASY to love, but he did love him, and that was real, it was certain and true, and he didn't want to do anything that might put their relationship in jeopardy. "Look Mike, it was nice hanging out with you, it really was, but I need to get going – it's getting late and I've got a lot of work to do tomorrow. Thanks for dinner and thanks for the photos, you did a great job on them", said Zayn appreciatively.