Can you love me now, Zayn?

Chapter 13

Zayn had tried to warn Harry in the cab ride to his family home. His parents and his sisters were going to be loud and chaotic and he was sure that his mom would cry, and was pretty sure his dad might cry, too.

But Harry was unprepared for the enormity of it all.

As soon as Zayn walked into his family house, his mom ran to him with her arms wide open and burst into tears, "My baby", she said over and over.

Then Zayn's sister, Doniya rushed in and added herself to the crying and the hugging, then his two younger sisters, Waliyha and Safaa came shrieking into the living room and wrapped their arms around Zayn's neck. While Harry watched them and wondered if Zayn could even breathe like that, his father, Yaser joined them all in a family hug that seemed to last forever and even his dad had tears in his eyes.

Harry felt awkward and nervous as he quietly stood as close to the doorway as he could get. Nobody seemed to notice he was there, for which he was grateful. He watched as Zayn's dad patted him on the head and cupped his face in his hand and said, "my boy, I have missed you". And he watched as Doniya planted a big kiss on Zayn's face and said, "You've gotten even UGLIER", as she laughed teasingly and hugged him again. And he watched as Zayn's mom, Trisha, swatted Doniya playfully at her comment. And he watched as Waliyha asked Zayn about France and verbally assault him with at least ten rapid-fire questions about what he did there and what he saw there. And he watched as Doniya's husband Wahlid shook his hand and welcomed him back home. And then he heard Waliyha complain about how much she wanted to go to France someday, and wondered aloud when it would it be HER turn to have fun and why couldn't SHE have gone to France, too. And Harry watched as Safaa interrupted her sister and got to the most important point of all when she asked - with the kind of excited giddiness that only a thirteen year old girl could muster - "WHAT DID YOU BRING ME FROM PARIS?" Which earned her a sharp, yet somehow playful, scolding from her mother.

"Yes, I brought you presents from Paris - All of you - and I promise we'll get to it later, Saf, alright?" said Zayn with the biggest and happiest grin on his face that Harry had ever seen. All while Zayn continued to bask in the glow of his families love for him and their excitement that he was home to spend a week with them.

Then Harry suddenly felt wholly inadequate and insignificant because how could he ever compete with Zayn's family who obviously loved and adored him? They had known Zayn longer, they had more history; deeper, richer knowledge of all things Zayn, and how could he ever love Zayn as much as these people did? And it scared him because he was only one person and he wasn't enough for Zayn and he had always known that but to see it - to actually stand there and realize that he wasn't enough for Zayn because Zayn deserved more than just Harry - it made his heart ache. Because he wanted to be enough for Zayn but he could see how much Zayn loved his families love, and how much he had missed it, and how good he felt to be back with them.

It was all so shocking to Harry somehow, who had never even SEEN a real-life family up close. His only experience with it was watching an occasional episode of the Kardashian's on TV, but this was REAL, and people actually lived like this. They actually had families that loved them, that were happy to see them. And it was too much to take in and Harry didn't want anyone to notice him because he wouldn't be able fake his way through the re-introductions, the greetings, and meeting Doniya and her husband for the first time - he wanted everyone to keep on not noticing him because it was safer here in his spot next to the doorway.

But then Zayn looked back to him, suddenly realizing that Harry wasn't in the midst of it all and he saw him standing by the doorway with a look of fear and wonder on his face.

Then Zayn's family noticed Zayn looking at Harry and they all grew very quiet as they parted and stepped away from Zayn so that he could ease Harry into the mix. "Harry?" Zayn asked with a smile on his face, his hand out, waiving Harry to move into the room, to get closer, to JOIN them, to be a part of it, but Harry was so afraid and so nervous he couldn't move. And Zayn could read it on his face, so he left his family circle and he walked the several steps over to where Harry was standing and, grabbed his shaking hand, he pulled him into the room where his family was gathered in a half-circle watching the interaction between the two of them.