The Chub Potion Number Nine tastes a little different than I remember.
"Horny Goat Weed," Elroy says.
"Huh?"
"Horny Goat Weed. That's why this batch tastes a little different."
"It tastes worse."
"Yes, the literature on Horney Goat Weed mentioned a metallic aftertaste."
"It tastes like I just chewed on a case of aluminum foil."
Elroy hands me a water and some Skittles to kill the flavor in my mouth. It's then that I notice that there's only one monkey in Elroy's lab.
"What happened to the other monkey?" I ask.
"You mean, Colonel Mustard?"
I nod.
"He's no longer with us?"
"No longer with us?"
"He passed away. Possibly diabetes. Or complications from diabetes. Or something else."
I look at the Skittles in my hand.
"I'm still waiting for the final lab results, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't the Skittles."
"You killed your monkey?"
"No. I tried to save him. Rita too. We took turns doing CPR."
I look over at Rita. I'm not sure if monkeys grieve, but if they do, the expression on Rita's face tells me that she misses Colonel Mustard dearly.
"You killed him with candy?"
Elroy frowns.
"Like I said, I'm waiting for the labs to come back. But it probably wasn't the candy."
My eyes turn to the empty beaker I just drank from.
"Elroy, didn't you say that you tested the Chub Potion Number Nine on Colonel Mustard?"
"Indeed. He was quite fond of the stuff."
"What about Rita?"
"Oh no, that would be silly."
"Why?"
"Well, Rita is a female."
"So?"
"Peter, how would you propose to make a woman's penis bigger?"
I shoot a puzzled look at Elroy.
"Is this a trick question?"
"In a manner of speaking, I suppose."
"OK..."
"You don't make a woman's penis bigger because women don't have penises."
"Yeah, they covered that in biology. On like day one."
"So, I wouldn't test Chub Potion Number Nine on Rita because she doesn't have a penis."
I'm a little annoyed. I feel like Elroy could've just come out and said that. But then again, I guess I could've just come out and said what I was afraid of, instead of beating around the bush.
"Elroy, is there any chance that Chub Potion Number Nine killed Colonel Mustard?"
"Killed Colonel Mustard?"
"Yes, in the laboratory, with the beaker."
Elroy laughs.
"What's so funny?"
YOU ARE READING
Peter's Little Peter
Teen Fiction🍌🍌🍌Think Netflix's SEX EDUCATION, but without the accents, and instead of pictures and sound, I put the words on the screen, and you paint the pictures with your mind.🥒🥒🥒 *** Some guys are showers. Some guys are growers. Then there's Peter. He...
