Screwed Up Mess

Seventeen

Lilly's POV

I drove home with tears rolling down my face the whole way. I have no clue if I'm making the right decision, but I do know one thing, I want to be with Zayn. I arrived at my house and found everyone was home, but ignored them all. I went to bed and decided to man up and call Zayn. He answered after four rings. Before he can even talk, I said my piece, "Ok I might be making the biggest mistake of my life, but this needs to be done. Through all of this chaos, I don't even know how I managed to get myself here, but I did. I like you Zayn. A lot. You've been here with me the whole thing and I fell for you. I know I seem crazy and absolutely out of my mind. I need you to know that this is how I feel."

I quickly got a response, "Lil?" That wasn't the voice I was expecting.

Zayn's POV

Lilly left my house and Josh came back over. We were talking and I was trying to calm him down. We have been friends for years and he needed me now. We were playing video games and I had to go to the bathroom. I must've left my phone since I found Josh using it. Once I entered the room he quickly threw it down. 

"What the hell man? Why did you answer my phone and who was it?"

His face had a look of embarrassment, "It was, uh..." The phone started to ring again and it was Lilly. I picked it up.

I answered smoothly, "Hey."

"Please tell me this is Zayn on the phone."

I gave Josh a dirty look, "Yes it is. Whats the matter?"

She took a deep breath, "I just, I don't know. It's not important. I just wanted to uhm apologize for earlier with Josh and that it all happened at your house. I don't want to get in the way of your friendship."

I stepped out of the room so Josh couldn't hear, "It's fine. It needed to be said. Sorry that Josh answered before. I didn't realize I left my phone with him."

"Oh it's ok. I just wasn't expecting it."

"Alright well I should probably get back..."

"Wait. Zayn, I called because I need to tell you something. I uh want you to know that when I went to Niall's, I told him I like you. And he made me choose between you two. I chose us because I am falling for you. Even through this mess that I'm in. You have been with me and helping me and I have seen a side of you I like so much. I like you so much and I want to give us a try."

I was speechless. I couldn't even form words. Especially the right ones. "Lilly I like you a lot. I would love to give us a go. The thing is, Josh is my friend. Niall is my friend. I don't need to get myself in this situation. Like you said, it's a mess. Things need to be settled before I can go out with you. I'm sorry."

And she hung up. I didn't know if I said the wrong thing, and she didn't want to hear it. 

Lilly's POV 

There was my answer. I knew I was stupid. Now I've buried myself deeper and deeper and can't get out. I am stuck and have no way out. I made a stupid decision I can't take back. I ruined mine and Josh's relationship, mine and Niall's relationship, and now mine and Zayn's. I can't seem to win can I? I needed to get my mind off of everyone for a change. I called up Stephanie, "Hey. I want to go clubbing tonight. And to the actual club. I want to dress up super slutty and get completely wasted to the point I can't remember and me and you can stay home tomorrow because of our massive hang overs and have a chill day. Please?"

She sighed, "That sounds like a blast, but I can't. I'm working tonight."

"Ok. Thanks anyways." I hung up and decided to go myself. I just need an excuse to leave tonight. 

I went downstairs to my mom and said, "Mom, Danielle needs me since her parents are out of town until really late tonight and she doesn't want to me alone."

She shrugged, "I mean I guess you can go. Just make sure you go to school. Understand?"

I nodded. She makes it too easy sometimes. I straightened my hair at the house, but left my clothes and makeup to do in the bathroom of gas station. I put on a red body-con dress that barely covered what it should've been and 6 inch black pumps. I made it to the club and knew I was underage, but when your dressed like this, they let you in anyways. It was almost pitch black inside. Just blacklights around the bar and a strobe light on the dance floor. I headed to the dance floor and just started dancing. I felt a guy come up behind me and place his hands on my hips. We just kept dancing and he kept kissing my neck. I turned around and couldn't see his face, but I didn't care. I grabbed his face and started making out with him. He tried to put his hands up my dress, but I whispered in his ear, "Not here." I led him to the bathroom, but before I could even see his face, his tongue was already down my throat.

Things were getting pretty heated but when I saw him starting to go lower, I saw his face for the first time. I said, "Oh my god."

He responded, "I haven't even done anything yet baby."

"No. This isn't happening."

He looked up at me and we made eye contact for the first time. He questioned, "Lilly?"

"Harry?"

He said, "Oh shit, but we already got this far. If you don't say anything, I won't."

"Deal."

And that was the night things got even messier. Now four guys, more confusing relationships, more heart break, more fights, and even more drama. It always gets more chaotic, but you just gotta go with it. I've learned when things get messy, don't get upset. Things will get better, unless you're me. Things just get messier.