FAKE PREGNANCY °[KathNiel] ✓COMPLETE

28. Six Years

Elqenna

Happy birthday to me. I talked to myself telepathically while watching myself in the mirror. It's almost midnight. Napapikit ako.

Hindi ako masaya. It's almost seven years ago. But I am still broken like I was when I left the country to hide myself from him.

Tell me how to be happy. Today was my 26th birthday. I have a husband who I married for more than five years and is now cheating on me. I have parents who don't really care about me. I am running a company, rooting for me not to fail, a company that I will just disappoint too in the end. Iyan naman kasi palagi. I am the exact definition of disappointment.

"Happy birthday, Blair,"I greeted myself again in a low voice.

26 years ka na sa mundong 'to. Nakakatawa na nakakalungkot kasi sa 26 years na 'yon, I only had 6 months to experience the feeling of being truly happy. It was short-lived but it's the only memory I wanted to treasure my whole life. Six months since that day I saw him in a coffee shop up to that day I walked past him in the same coffee shop. I still remember the heaviness my chest carried that moment.

***

Si Mavvy.

Wow, universe. Do you hate me that much huh? Pinalaya ko na nga diba? Sinunod ko ang gusto ng mommy niya. Kulang pa palang pasakit 'yon. Hindi pala sapat na mawasak lang ang puso ko, kailangan palang madurog din. 'Yong talagang imposibleng mabubuo pa, imposibleng titibok pa.

I always tell Mavvy that it will kill me if I lose him. Yes. It was true because I died when I let him go. No. I didn't. I died when he let me go.

Kahit gaano kasakit sa'king malaman na siya 'yong ama ng anak ni Raphie, gusto ko paring pigilan niya ako. Nakita niya ako e. I walked past him. Sa mismong harap niya. And I saw his eyes. I saw there my reflection because he was staring at me. But it was all that he did. He just watched me walk out of the shop, walk out of his life.

"Qenna, I'm so sorry. May kinailangan lang akong puntahan," salubong ni Innigo sa'kin.

I just needed someone's comfort so I ran to his arms.

"Innigo. Umalis na tayo dito."

"We have talked about this. We're leaving next week--"

I pulled myself away from him.

"I can't wait that long, Innigo. If you want to stay here then stay. But as for me, I am leaving!"

Innigo felt like he had no choice but to come with me. I can tell how much he wanted to stay and yet he still accompanied me abroad. For sure, it must be because of my parents.

***

I still remember the pain I had in my heart when I stepped on the plane that day. And I still have that same pain living inside of my dying heart. I die everyday remembering the love I have for him. Maverick Macmillan. Kumusta na kaya siya? Nagpakasal kaya sila ni Raphie? I really planned to disappear in their lives, including in my bestfriend's. Alam ko kasing hindi ko kayang maging masaya para sa kanila. Selfish? Alam ko. Pero wala na ba akong karapatang pagbigyan ang sarili ko? Ang sakit kaya.