Never Let Me Go~Bagginshield

And The Time Has Come.

I was not ready to face him. I had told myself I was, trying to face facts. But here he was, right in front of me.

"Hello, Thorin. It has been quite some time since we last met." I averted my eyes suddenly.

"Bilbo Baggins...it seems like a lifetime." My name fell from his lips like poison, and my entire body tensed up. How could this have happened? How could he have hated me so?

"Thorin, I don't know what happened to you, but I'm not trying to be angry with you."

"Who says I am angry?" Everything about him was different. His mannerisms, the way he was speaking...it was like I was speaking to someone who used to be Thorin.

"It doesn't seem like you are very pleased to see me again," I answered. "After all this time, you can't even hug me? Tell me that you are happy I am alive? Did you forget that at one point, we were in love? You promised me treasures beyond my dreams. You swore I would rule by your side. And then you tossed me away as if I was nothing. You locked me up and kept me as a prisoner. You treated me worse than the damn Orcs!"

Thorin hadn't changed expressions during my entire tirade. He just watched me, and listened, with a blank expression. Finally, he spoke. "Pleased...I rarely find pleasure in anything anymore. I do not want to anger you, Bilbo. You ask me if I remember all these things, and I do. But I thought you had fallen out of love with me. You left...I don't blame you for that. I was a different person. I am trying to change...but being King has its responsibilities. I cannot just drop everything and pursue a life with you."

"No one ever asked you to," I spat back. "And I'm not asking you to now." I turned on my heel. "I made a mistake coming here. I'm going back to Bag End. Back to my books, and my armchair, and somewhere where there are no dwarves!" I began walking out. "And somewhere where there is no Thorin Oakenshield!" 

I couldn't be sure, but I think I heard a sort of chuckle come from Thorin after my outburst. All of this, and he was laughing? I guess he didn't think I would go back to Bag End. Well, he was wrong. I had quite enough of an adventure to last me a lifetime. 

I reached the entrance of the cave, and I stopped. Did I really just want to walk away, and give up on Thorin? I had travelled this far with him, why not just go all the way? Why not finish the quest? I sighed, shifting from foot to foot as I struggled with my morality. My conscience was telling me to stay and help him through this, but my heart was telling me to leave. 

Standing in the entrance to the cave, the entire journey flashed through my mind, in tidbits. Everything that happened all came crashing into my head. 

And I stayed.