Running (FOUR SWORDS FANFICTION!)

Vio's Point of View

I tried to hug him, but he didn't let me. He wouldn't meet my eyes and Aki just stared awkwardly at me with a facial expression that told me I fucked up. 

"Shadow, what's wrong?" I asked.

He didn't even look at me. "Why didn't you just tell me from the start, Vio?"

"Huh?"

He still didn't look at me. "Aki?"

"I'm going..." She walked away from us, a short distance.

"Shadow, what...?"

"Why didn't you just tell me, Vio?" He was facing me, but our eyes weren't meeting. They were still red. "Red told me..."

"Told you what?"

"About Blue..."

The world seemed to stop spinning. "Shadow, I...I can explain..."

"Then go ahead."

Just like that, any explanation I could have provided rushed out at once to the point where it all got caught in my throat and I couldn't say any of it. He shook his head and all of a sudden, he started laughing, but I saw anger in his eyes.

"I actually believed you! I fucking believed you!" And then I saw a tear slide down his cheek. I took a step closer, I wanted to comfort him and hold him close and tell him how much I loved him, but he took a step back. He took two steps back for every step I took forward, actually, so I gave up and didn't move closer at all, so I could be as close as possible to him as he'd let me. "I thought you were serious. Why couldn't you have just said that you--you didn't have to lie to me again, Vio."

"It wasn't a lie!" I said.

He shook his head again. "I'm not even as upset as I should be...I nearly killed you. Everything's different now, I died, you can fuck who ever you want, I don't give a shit, I just...why would you act like it's okay just to prove it isn't?"

"Shadow, I can explain, really," I took a step forward and instead of moving back, he just glared daggers until I took a step back. "We went to the fire temple to find one of your possessions, me and Blue found your room, we decided to split up. I...I felt really guilty so...Blue comforted me...by making out with me...on your bed."

"It was on my bed too?"

I realized he hadn't known that. "I just...later, Blue and I talked and we're all pretty sure that we're polyamorous."

"Translation?"

"Into multiple people. We want to be in a relationship with multiple people. I love you, but I also love them. And I know I should have told you, but..." I couldn't finish.

"But what?"

"It never came up," I said. "I wasn't sure how to just say it, honestly, I never had a chance to tell you myself that we made out."

"On my bed, though. After you said you loved me and everything. Forget not telling me, why didn't you just not do it? Have you had feelings for them the entire time?"

"Yes--"

"--and you never  thought to bring that up?"

I literally could not find anything to respond with. "I suck with emotions?" "I didn't know how to say it?" "I didn't think you'd find out just now?"

I swallowed.

"Honestly, fuck you, Vio. I can't believe you. Hope you and the others are happy together and shit, but goddesses fucking damnit, I hate your guts."

"Yeah, that's fair," I replied.

"...If you're so hellbent on finding me, you should stop now. Just...help Aki. I do not want your help, I do not want to be alive. Find Aki and get her out, now you don't even have to find the Dark Mirror, isn't everything easier? Without me."

"But, Shadow, I can't, I love you--"

"Fucking liar," he spat. "I swear, I don't ever want to see you again, I can't fucking look at you. Help Aki. She's the one who needs you. I don't. Just wake the fuck up already, I don't want to talk to you any longer."

"Shadow, please." I grabbed his hand. "I know I fucked up and you have every right to be angry, but please, let me help you. Just let me find this damn mirror and revive you, I'll help Aki, and then you and I can..." My voice cracked but I kept speaking. "...never even look at each other again. That'll be it. I'll help you and we can part ways."

He glared at me for a minute and then yanked his hand away. "Fine." He crossed his arms and went over to Aki.

My eyes opened. Red was staring at me with a panicked expression. "You were crying in your sleep," he mumbled.

I rubbed at my eyes with my hands. My face was wet. I had been crying. I was still crying.

"Shadow hates me now," I said. I couldn't even be angry at Red, really. It was my own fault.

"I'm so sorry," Red sniffed. For once, I initiated contact with him and pulled him into a hug. "How bad was it?" He asked.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Really bad. He almost refused to let me revive him."

"Almost?"

"He won't kill me on sight," I sighed. "But after it, I don't think we're ever going to say a word to each other again." Because I fell in love with multiple people and couldn't figure out my damn emotions so I could explain them to him. Because I hurt him.