Ride or Die.

2️⃣8️⃣

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Shawn Carter
8:01 PM
Brooklyn, New York

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"She never wanted me."

Beyonce stared at me from the passenger seat as we were driving back home after I tried to reconcile with my family.

"Babe, it's going to be alright," Bey said to me as I glanced up in my rear-view at the tears soaking my cheekbones.

"You don't know what it's like never being wanted," I told her "having your whole existence being one big mistake, I was conceived from a one night stand, no meaning just a quick fuck, my pops was looking for."

She wiped my eyes as I leaned into her warm hand after, "don't say that, you are wanted and loved."

"By whom? My own family treats me like I ain't shit to 'em and to think I'd give my life for them." I looked over at her, and she had some tears in her eyes too which confused me, "why you cryin' ma?"

"Cuz you are," she told me straight up "I can't stand hearing you talk like this or seeing you sad; I love you too much and know that's yo mother and all but I'd kill that bitch for treatin' you the way she does she doesn't deserve someone as brilliant and fucking special as you like that's so messed up, I swear!"

We had decided from the jump that family was off-limits. And we'd never disrespect each other family. Even if they disrespected us. We were to remain quiet regarding each other's families. But for some reason hearing her call my moms a bitch didn't really make me angry anyone else I would've brought the heat to their ass.

Bey was so upset tho about the entire thing, it was like our feelings were connected, like soulmates or whatever the hell its called.

We got back to the mansion and slammed the doors of the silver Mercedes-Benz on our way out.

I decided to not let my mommy issues ruin the life I had created with Bey. Pushing that shit to the back of my mind and continued with me cuz after all life does go on that's one thing I learned.

Our mansion was a nice little cut located in an upper-class white neighborhood, I'm talkin' white as rice, no niggas insight. I did miss the sound of guns blazing and sirens after a while of living around here. But quite often we got sirens when another Bob went haywire on his entire family. And got sent to a loony house, yet if that was one of our Black asses we'd end up dead where we stood.

I blew smoke from my cigar staring out from my balcony at my huge backyard that a giant pool sat in between. Bits of fall cracked into the summer weather fading the once bright green trees into dull oranges. And the flower beds that decorated the yard all whisked away leaving a few traces of petals that shriveled on top of the dirt.

"Sup! Carter." My neighbor Buckley waved while stepping into his home with his two kids; how this motherfucker spotted me from way down there was beyond me, but anyway I waved back before going inside. From a bird's eye view, it would seem I had everything on God's green earth a man could ever want. I was tall, rich, ambitious and good-looking. But I was still craving something dearly. 

A family of my own.

I wanted a chance to prove I was nothing like my pops. And what better way to do that than with little Jays and Beys running around the mansion wreaking havoc.

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A/N: 2 chapters were updated today please go read BOTH of them and leave feedback this book will be updated next week on Thursday but in the meantime please go check out my other stories and leave feedback.

Thoughts on Jay mother - Is she overreacting or does she have a right to be angry towards him?

Do you all think Jay and Bey are ready for kids while on the run?

Do you like the newer improved Bey or was the old Bey better?

More to come next week so be on the lookout!!!