It's Definitely You | | j.hs

23

Jinae

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Hoseok meets me halfway from the porch and his car. I don't feel nervous until I'm staring him in his face, acutely aware of just how close we are to each other; one step and a lean and we'd be kissing. 

"Whatcha need?" he asks with a brighter-than-the-sun smile. I swear, every time he smiles at me, I melt, even just a tiny bit.

"Um," I say, suddenly more anxious than I've felt in a very long time. I bite down on my bottom lip and turn to look at my grandparents' house. I see Taeil in the window and he gives me a proud smile and a thumbs up. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding and turn again to face a now extremely confused looking Hoseok.

"Is everything okay, Jinae-yah?" he asks, concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," I respond immediately. I take a deep breath in, closing my eyes. I hold it for a moment, then breathe out slowly, opening my eyes. 

This is it. It's now or never. I will never have the courage to do this ever again, so if I don't do this now... It's over. 

"I, um, just wanted to tell you something," I say, trying to steady my racing heart. "Hoseok-ah, I've been thinking a lot about things lately and I came to a realization not very long ago." Here goes. "I really like you. A lot. And I think I have since I met you, I just didn't realize it or even really think about it until recently. And I know you probably don't feel the same way, but I just thought you should know because--"

"Jinae-yah?" Hoseok says, cutting me off of my rambling, which, frankly, I'm very thankful for. 

"Yeah?" I say, my voice just barely above a whisper.

And just like that I'm nervous and worried about what he's going to say.

"I," he says, taking one step forward so we're hardly inches apart, "really like you too. I've known for a little while now, but not since before the guys brought it up to me, but I've realized they're right. I really like you, Jinae-yah, and I don't want to waste time now that I know you feel the same."

I'm about to ask him what he means when he begins to lean down. My breath catches in my throat as he reaches out and grabs my waist, pulling me closer to him. His hair just barely grazes my forehead and I shudder, my eyes closing out of instinct. His lips barely touch mine before his arms wrap all the way around my back.

It's soft and he feels warm, the breaths through his nose coming out warm against my cheek. I move my arms up around his neck and smile against his kiss. And for a moment, just a moment, I feel at peace with the world. I feel at peace with myself and everyone around me. 

Just for a moment I feel safe.

And then it's gone.

He pulls away, a smile evident on his face. His arms loosen their grip and he leans back to look me in the eyes. I lean my head against his chest and smile to myself, the silent victory celebration of my heart. 

"I have to go now," Hoseok says after a moment and I nod, removing my arms from around his neck. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

I smile up at him and nod. "Yeah," I say, stepping back from him. I walk backwards to the porch, watching as he moves to his car and gets in. I don't go inside until I see the car drive away. 

The moment I step inside Taeil almost tackles me. 

"I'm so proud of you," he says, snatching me up into a huge hug. I giggle and he squeezes me even tighter. "I told you you wouldn't regret it if you told him."

"Thank you, Taeil," I say softly. "You were the reassurance I needed to do that."

The rest of the night is my parents, Taeil, and I watching movies until the last of us can't stay awake any longer. "The last of us" means my mom and I. We've always been the night owls of the family.

It's about midnight before the boys finally fall asleep and it's the two of us left. We turn off the action movie they chose and put on a comedy and laugh until it's almost two in the morning. 

We both decide it's best to try and sleep so we do, but I'm still awake even when I can hear the soft snores of my mom on the bed. I roll to my side, facing away from everyone and turn on my phone. The light from the screen blinds me for a moment before I can turn it down. 

When I do, I text Soyoung and Misun to see if either of them are awake. I find that neither are when ten minutes goes by and I get no response, so I go to my notes. I have songs I've written or started writing in random notes and I start going through them. I look at trying to make some better and work on writing the sheet music to go with some. 

And this is all I do until I drift off to sleep.

+++

I'm woken up by Taeil breathing on my face at 7 a.m. We both had to sleep on the floor and let my parents have the bed, and apparently he rolled super close to me. He sleeps with his mouth open and, well, he's breathing on my face.

I sit up and rub my eyes, shoving Taeil as a means of moving him and waking him up all at once. He groans while he opens his eyes, squinting at me.

"Get your morning breath out of my face, Taeil," I whine. He rolls his eyes and turns onto his other side, falling back asleep. I push myself to a standing position and go out to the kitchen to make myself some tea. 

I wait for my tea to boil and walk back to the bedroom to grab my phone. I see a text from Soyoungie and I smile.

Watson: Moving day and first day of classes!!!
Me: My first class is at 8:30 and it's my only class for the day. I'll be moving my stuff right after!

I smile, preparing my tea and standing around the kitchen.

This should be a great day.

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So there's only one more chapter. I do have an epilogue, but there's only one more chapter of the main story. It's been a journey, that's for sure. Anyway, see ya in the next one! :)