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"We accept the love we think we deserve."
I led Rose up the steps to my apartment. She had talked the whole way here, but I barely uttered a single word. I was so nervous. My heart was going a mile a minute and I couldn't breathe properly.
"You live here by yourself?" She turned to me as I was unlocking the door. My brother had left with Cameron to go to their college classes.
"No. My brother and his best friend live with me." I told her.
"Oo. You get to live with two guys." She said looking at me suggestively. "That must be amazing."
"I wouldn't say that...considering it's my brother and...basically my other brother." I scratched the back of my head and opened the door. "I'm not gay either." Great. She believed the rumors and thought I was gay.
She walked in before me and I followed suit, shutting the door behind me.
She looked at me awkwardly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." She said.
"It's fine. Let me show you to my room." I told her. I walked down the hallway to the left of us and opened the door to my bedroom. "You can sleep in here" I said. "i-if you want." I quickly added.
She chuckled and smiled at me. "Yeah. That's alright with me." God. Why did I say anything?
"I'll let you borrow an old t-shirt and shorts if you want." I said shutting my door.
"I can just sleep in my bra and underwear." She told me nonchalantly.
I couldn't help but imagine that and I was internally freaking out. She'd be in my room almost naked and I'd never heard something so good in my life, but equally as nerve racking. I'd never had a girl in my room...let alone a girl that was gonna be almost naked.
I walked further down the hallway and opened the bathroom door. "This is the bathroom." I said boringly.
"That was so monotone." She laughed at me.
"My bad. This is the bathroom." I said with more enthusiasm. She laughed and so did I. I shut the door to the bathroom and went back to my room.
"We should listen to the AM record." She jumped up and down when we got back into my room and she saw my record player.
She walked over to my record player and went to grab her record from her shopping bag. "Don't touch it!" I shouted at her.
She jumped back with a surprised look on her face. I walked over to her and rested my hand on the top of the closed record player, deep in thought.
"Sorry." She said.
"It's okay. It was my moms and I don't like people touching it." Which was true. Cameron borrowed it from me to listen to a record he bought cause his broke and I completely freaked. I got it back from him and then almost had a mental breakdown.
"Well...we can still listen to the record." She suggested smiling at me.
"Alright." I said. I pulled mine out from the bag and let the music fill my ears. Rose began dancing when 'Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?' started playing and I laughed at her from my bed.
I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed my pack of cigarettes a terrible habit I picked up from my brother. I lit one and held it between my fingers, taking puffs every once in a while. Rose stopped dancing and looked at me with a shocked expression on her face.
"You smoke?" She asked me.
"Yeah. I smoke every once in a while." I shrugged.
She nodded. "I just...would've never expected that from you. I guess I don't really know you either though." She walked over to me and sat down beside me. "Can I try?" She asked looking at me shyly.
I held the cigarette out towards her and she leaned forward to take a puff. My heart was doing weird things when her lips slightly touched my fingers. She pulled away and blew out the smoke, coughing a little bit.
"Not that bad." She said in between coughs.
I chuckled and took another puff. "Want the rest?" I held it out to her.
She grabbed it from me and began to smoke it. I found myself staring at her every feature as she blew out the smoke. She was so beautiful, I just wanted to kiss her. But I couldn't.
She didn't even want me.
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