2014. April 18.
It's so hard. To fight against myself, I guess.
I'm sleepy.
I don't want to see anyone especially in my dreams. But they always come. Come back for me. Those bastards! Not to kill. That's already done. Sometimes my eyes get watery if I just think about me being dead. I want to forget it but I can't if they never let me alone.
Don't come back.
Don't come back.
Don't come.
So hard to take a shower.
I can't eat. Real food... sounds funny. I read Kafka once. Now I'm that disgusting bug under the cupboard. A killer bug. A predator like... I could be a...actually bugs are pretty peaceful so I don't have a clue what I could be in Kafka's book. Why on earth did I even read that book?!
Just so hard.
You know existing is hard.
I remember that I was extremely stressed in school to be the best. I was afraid of injuries, and other's verdict so I practiced until I felt I can't move but that was clearly nothing compared to this.
It's just so hard.
But I keen to do it for Elias. If there are angels I want him to be my guardian. He could be my dancing angel in my dreams.
Priest Joseph says if I believe in God, I belive in myself. According to his statement if I belive Elias is an angel, I believe that God has the power to help me out of this mess. As a result I believe in myself! Just perfect, isn't it?
I have to take a shower soon...
Why is this so damn hard?
YOU ARE READING
My first times
Vampire- So? - I whispered in his ears and I could smell his scent. - What? - Do you feel yourself in danger? - I don't see why should I - he said leaning even closer so that I could feel his breathe, moreover I could touch his pulsing vein, the life r...
