"From all the mistakes I've made..."
Dear, Sophia,
I started cutting again. And smoking. I just...I miss you so much. And to top it all off, Calum is harassing me. The day after he beat me up, he trapped me in the bathroom and threatened me with a pocket knife.
I'm so scared, Soph.
I don't know what to do.
I started cutting again the day Calum trapped me in the bathroom. When I went home, the pain was just so overwhelming. Luckily, my mom wasn't home since she was gonna be home late, so I took the nail file with the hook end from her drawers since she threw all of the razor blades away, went into the bathroom, and just sliced away.
It felt so bad, but it felt so good. It hurt, but I was numb too. I haven't done it in so long. I cut only my wrists though. Not my legs and stomach like I used to. The blood made me sick though and I threw up in the toilet. Then I cleaned everything up and bandaged up my wrists before going to bed.
Did you know I still have some weed under my bed? And papers? I promised my mom I would throw it all away, but instead, I just stashed it all in the far back of my bed, behind everything. I knew I would need it.
And I was right.
The high overtook me immediately only after two smokes. It enveloped me. I felt like I was floating. Do you float, Soph? Since you're an angel?
I'm so sorry, Soph. I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I cut again. I'm sorry I smoked again. I just miss you.
Please forgive me.
Love, Ashton
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everything i didn't say. (a.i. au)
Fanfic"Taking every breath away, with all of the mistakes, from all the letters that I saved, this is everything I didn't say." ********** In which Ashton writes letters to his dead girlfriend whom he lost to suicide, and every day, he lives with the guil...
