Shuttle Bus 17: A Poetry Collection

Hope in a Ravaged Pessimist

My headspace is a dichotomy,

A paradise for loathing crawlers to

Curdle their sharpened talons against

The feeble etchings vines scribble

Across once tamed and pasteurized

Boisterous sunflower field, containing

Dainty, delicate reflections of

Birthday parties, show and tell,

Even confessing to a wholesome

Admirer my developing devotion

Towards them, all this blushing humility

In an hourglass that could be manipulated,

Corroded in such an accessible manner.

These Beasts with salivating gums,

Their breath an erosion of indecisiveness

Laced with the addictiveness of misery,

A getaway taste that makes my fiendish

Sub-personalities junkies forevermore.
A mania for self-perfection discloses

Any repealing light that appears to

Stroll within my corridors, being

Flung as their waxen limbs melt away

Through the third eye of the imperially

Manipulated microscopic lens, as the buzzing

Decrees obsession as fatality.

What do they imply? a confident

Light skinned cub requests,

Asking rhetoric that only the preliminary

Can disclose as factual or incoherent,

The restrictive frequency pierces

My canals of transport, the inner inhabitants

Screeching, as I dislocate my jaw at the

Relinquishing overlay of drowning voices

In a riveting ocean of amnesia,

Suddenly, the Cub looks awe-stricken,

The hood he had been holding tightly

Around his neck swooning helplessly,

The nectarine haze of sky scape treading

In pus as a cyst verges to popping extinction,

The Cub sprints whilst sobbing, choking

On his phlegm, as the grainy floor splits

Against the forceful blow from up above.

A dreadful pale fist looms from the crack

In the amphitheater and lunges toward the

Impressionable Cub, snatching him, his tiny

Legs kicking, his larynx throbbing, with no

Avail at screaming, his airways closed amidst

The windiness his fragile body swims upstream

Against the current of the Ghoul.
He was hope in a dystopia filled with self-hatred,

He was the fuzziness my heart had felt, when receiving

Letters, being invited to shindigs, dancing

To my fullest extent against the vivacious strobes at

A college party, kissing a babe on the forehead,

When I fell into a rut, as if Creation had soared me

Between sharp edged pieces of Earth,

To play the role of a vagabond among my family

And once closest peers,

The Cub was left estranged, no home to call its own,

As it was being trailed away, the clawed, toothy fanged

Beasts chuckled methodically, calculating

The next plot of land it can reap and tarnish away at,

And what other hopeful signals they can spot out

In a field of sunflowers cheerfully, helplessly,

Vulnerably carrying on in oblivion.

My migraine fades away, the room spinning

Against the bleak black the bed frame makes

Toward the ajar door,
I concentrate my recovering head back toward the pillow,

And nod away until I return to quiet thoughts,

The humming still playing on loop

Even when the fan remains running.