Dissolved mind

-Chapter two: Fallen angel-

Blood is dripping from above. The piercing hot flickering of the fire burns my skin wherever it brushes it. Groaning and squeezing my eyes i try to look through the inferno that is surrounding me, over to the passenger seat.

"...?!" I yell out his name, while the raging of the flames consume any sound. Panting for air and out of pain that is coming from my throbbing head, i shakily unbuckle my seat belt, which causes me to drop face first onto the already shattered glass of the front window. Aching i lean on my elbows, until i manage to get up onto my knees and slowly crawl my way out of the flames.

Outside i fall onto the dry grass, gasping from the lack of oxygen and exhaustion.

"...I...ian..." I hear him call my name.

Everything is spinning, the pain in my head is growing and the night sky above me is twirling like a spiral, getting up with all my leftover strength i start to make my way over to the other side of the car.

The deep red blood is dripping off my forehead, onto the green grass and dyes it in a shade of red.

Just as i reached the passengers window and got a glance at his face. Everything. Turns black.

....

...

..

.

Calming silence, peacefully and nice, only the quiet sound of my own breathing brush against my ears.

Opening my eyes, i stare directly at the plain white ceiling above my bed.

My body having the same temperature as the blanket that is covering me. I feel numb, overwhelmed from the warmth that is caressing my skin, bringing unwanted memories from the past back into my mind. My body feels weak, just as if the warmth is starting to swallow my whole being.

Trying to contain myself, i close my eyes again...

Biting my lip, i kick the blanket off the bed, shivering out of disgust from myself, from liking the warm feeling i don't deserve, never did and never will. This torturing feeling that won't let go of me, he won't let go of me, no matter how hard i'm trying to leave it behind.

My face buried in my hands, i'm sitting on the edge of my bed, while my bare feet are standing on the cold wooden carved planks of my bedroom floor.

"...I wonder what will happen today" I mumble to myself, as i wipe my teary eyes and drowsy get up from the bed, to get ready for the day, university and the world that is waiting for me, outside.

...

..

.

The chattering of people, unzipping bags and squeaking of chair legs disseminate all around the big room. Sitting down in my usual seat of the noisy seminar room, i start to unpack my backpack for the upcoming lecture. While i'm taking out my things, a graphite pen falls out of my slightly open zipper of my pencil case.

"Ah!..." I see it fall onto the smooth patterned ground and watch it slowly start rolling into the opposite direction. Groaning i kneel down to reach out for it, as an unknown hand picks it up just before i was about to touch it. Tilting my head up i look into the face of friendly looking guy with angelic looking blond hair and mesmerizing blue eyes, as if they would hold the whole ocean just inside a little pearl.

"Here you go"  he speaks, as he holds the pencil towards me, a gentle smile laying on his lips.

Stunned from his appearance i just give him a silent nod and quickly take the pencil out of his hand. While grabbing it, i happen to touch only the fingertips of his slim fingers.

"Cold..." I quietly mumble to myself, still feeling the slightly cold of his hands on my own skin. Somehow it gave me a calming feeling. Unlike other touches it didn't felt unpleasant for once.

Sitting back in my seat, i put the pencil back and inconspicuously watch him sit down next to me, in the corner of my eyes. His presence was almost not noticeable, just as if he was a ghost or literally an fallen angel from heaven. I never saw him in this class before, hence ever in this university, but i also have been absent for a while so it wouldn't be surprising if he would be a new student on the campus.

I spend the rest of the seminar just staring at my papers, deep in thoughts i only manage to hear half of the lecture. I've got a lot on my mind these days, it's hard to concentrate, especially with all this noise and now also that unique guy sitting next to me.

When the professor announced the ending of the seminar, i felt some kind of relieve in my chest. Which nevertheless made me have the urge to leave my seat as soon as possible.

I pack all my stuff back into my bag, since i didn't take any notes it didn't took very long, closing my scarlet backpack, i stand up from the seat and head together with the crowd of other students out of the seminar room.

Walking along the hallway, i was rushing towards the next seminar room, but not even a minute passed by, as i could hear a familiar voice call from behind.

"...Pl-please wait!" 

Suddenly a hand grabbed onto my wrist, firmly but still gentle.

When i turn around, i could see blue eyes stare at me.