Dear Evan Hansen x reader one shots

Did you fall or did you let go? (Evan x non binary reader)

(Hello, it is I again)

@bizzitybobbityboo here's your request, I'm sorry that I took an unreasonably long time and I hope you like it.

(OKAY SO UM, I'm not non binary, any sort of misconception is my bad. I'm sorry in advance.)

Warnings: attempted suicide

*~Word Count: 2030?~*

(Reader's POV)

Being a teenager actually sucks, especially when you're depressed, suicidal and non binary. Now, the last one isn't necessarily a bad thing but it's not the greatest thing ever, you see, finding clothes that don't make you feel dysphoric or just not feeling dysphoric at all is hard when you're surrounded by idiots like my friend Jared Klienman.

"So wait, do you even have sex or does that go against your beliefs? What's between your legs has got to count for something" "No Jared, it's my gender or rather lack there of, not my religion." Jared huffs at this and then deviously smirks at Evan who's sitting right next to him. "Well I'm sure that Evan would love to make what's between your legs his religion"

Evan's face flushes with the color red, he looks down at his hands which are resting on his lap. He grips the end of his polo shirt and proceeds to uncomfortably fidget with it, all the while, Jared watches him intently to see if socially anxious boy would provide him the reaction he expected from his whims but all he got was an uncomfortable amount of silence and fidgeting.

"For fucks sake Jared, go choke on Connor's dick" "Oh hell no! You are not implying that he even come anywhere near my dick! That shit is not a joking matter! Last time, that little asshole bit my dick and when he tried to give me a hand job, he fucking tugged on it! It's like he doesn't even know how to jerk off!". Jared face flushed and he shoved Connor while the lot of us laughed till we gasped for air.

The insecurity of everything I felt though settled itself back into my mind. Cozy place, it was cozy and safe for it to rest since it's welcome wasn't technically worn outside yet.

I love being alive. Is what I'd say if the way I felt matched the way I looked, a lot of the time I have an overwhelming amount of dysphoria and I'd be lying if I said that loved the way it felt. Being non-binary is so shitty because no one takes you seriously anymore, everyone thinks that the small amount of confused people sum up how our community functions. I constantly want to die because being non binary is just, it's not what it used to be.

Aside from the usual teen angst I'm also in love with Mark Evan Hansen, he prefers Evan to Mark and I call him Ev. I'm not sure why, maybe it's the cute way he bobs his head to music, maybe it was those cute little tics that made him Evan. Regardless, I love him. He doesn't love me back, for sure. I mean shoot, don't quote me but if that doesn't sound really cliche then I'll be damned. The reason I'm alive is to finish school, go to an even bigger school and Evan. I'd be dead already if he hadn't come into my life but god, sometimes I think that life isn't worth it.

(Evan's POV)

I wanna kiss their face all over. I have no shame in telling people except the person I want to kiss. Anxiety can be a major cock block. Confidence is attractive right? Anxiety isn't and that's why they probably would never go out with me. Y/n L/n. If I had to think of something to describe them, it would be every synonym for attractive known to man.