Fuck It {YUNGBLUD}

Don't cry alone

Early that morning Cleo woke up because her eye was hurting so she put some cold water on it

She came back and grabbed a pack of cigarettes her lighter and camera and went outside

She lit her cigarette and put the pack in her pocket then started taking pictures of the sky and the houses

After she was done her cig she went back inside and Dominic was at the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes with messy hair

"You just woke up?"

She said sitting beside him

"Pretty much how come you're up so early?"

"My eye was hurting"

"You still look beautiful with a black eye I don't know how you do it"

"Shut up"

Cleo said playfully pushing him

"What it's true"

He says Cleo rolls her eyes then she rests her head on his shoulder

"So when am I going to meet your band friends?"

"They've actually been asking when will they meet you and their suppose to be coming over on Saturday so you can meet them and we can play for you"

"That sounds great"

Dominic's face suddenly drops

"Hey what's wrong?"

Cleo asks

"It's just my dad every time we play he always has something to say about my music"

"Hey don't listen to him from what I've heard from you i can tell you're amazing"

Then he kissed her on the cheek

She laid down and put her hands in the air and made a square with her fingers

"What are you doing"

Dominic says giggling then he laid beside her

"Imagine if you looked through this square I made and it's a whole other universe, one where parents don't make their kids feel like shit and one where no teenagers don't have depression and want to kill them selves... if only"

She says then she brakes the square apart and drops her arms then Dominic held her hand

She turned her head and looked at him

"How did we get here? How come out of all the doors I could've stumbled out of that night it was the back door where you were?"

"I don't know but I'm so happy it happened"

He said as he put his hand on her cheek and then he kissed her 

She pulled away and look back up, all of sudden her eyes turned red and tears just poured out

"Hey hey what's wrong"

Dominic said sitting up Cleo sits up too and quickly wipe the tears away

"When my mom had me she never even wanted me I was never planned and when she found out she was pregnant she wanted a boy, after I was born she tried and tried to have other children so she could find an excuse not to deal with me but each time it failed she had 2 miscarriages... sometimes at night when everything is silent and I'm alone in my room I stare at the ceiling and wonder why couldn't I have been on of those miscarriages why did I have to live, I don't know who I am anymore in fact I don't think I ever did, it feels like...like, nothing."

She says as tears just slip out of her eyes she doesn't make a sound or make any facial expressions she sits there and they just pour out like a faucet

Dominic had no idea what to say

He got up and he grabbed a small box of photos then sat next to her and put the box on her lap

She started to look through it it was family photos but there was another boy

"Who's this?"

Cleo asked

"My brother, he died... these pictures where me before he died I was so happy because my dad wasn't as mean to me"

She kept looking and she noticed his big brother is not in the pictures anymore and Dominic look sad and angry and fully of guilt and regret

"That's me after, I know how you feel... my dad my brother and I were driving to see my grandpa and we got into a car crash the car hit the side my brother was on, I was supposed to be on that side but I made him sit there and now he's gone... he was in a coma for a long while and then the doctors said he might never wake up so it was our choice and I asked the doctor if he was in pain and the doctor said yes so we decided to pull the plug. Ever since then I thought to myself why did I fight with him about which side to be on why didn't I just die instead of him"

Dominic broke down in tears then Cleo pulled him into a hug she pulled back and looked at him

Their eyes locked and so did their hearts she took her thumbs and wiped the tears off his face

"If you died we wouldn't be together and that is honestly horrifying"

She says giggling at the end

He looked at her and smiled then he kissed her and laid her down

He left marks all over her neck as she ran her fingers through his hair

Everything came off one by one until the only thing between them was skin

His fingers tips where like paint brushes and her body was his canvas

He wasn't sure what he was feeling and neither was Cleo but they both knew whatever it was, was right

Her hands ran up and down his neck to his hair as his soft lips kissed her neck to her collar bone to her chest then her stomach then...