AIM

9

i found myself going back to hoseoks room. still in a towel, i felt a little awkward, but i had no choice, realising that i'd been solely relying on jimin for clothes. the thought reminding me of his scent, his clothing on my skin, i couldn't do that. couldn't put myself in a position to crave him close to me. so instead i nocked at hoseoks door, soon enough opening to reveal my wet hair and toweled self.

"oh um hey what's up?" i could feel this all felt odd, looking down at me practically naked, other than the towel that concealed everything.

"this is an odd request but could i borrow some clothes?" he chuckled nodding his head, returning with a t-shirt some joggers and even some boxers. um. not that... i asked but ok. i went with it anyway, the briefs were plain black, i'd never worn men's boxers but i've heard they're actually comfortable?

i returned to the bathroom changing, and damn. people were right, this shit was way better than all the thongs and lacey shit i had to deal with before. sometimes i wish i was a boy. it sometimes crossed my mind how life may be easier that way. wouldn't feel so vulnerable, i could hide my emotions better, get to wear boxers. my stupid thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"oh namjoon, hi" he smiled, strangely i haven't seen him smile before. i've rarely seen him pull any expression other than pain, or a concerning serious stare that he always presented himself with. making him look cold, unapproachable. yet this, his smile, washed away all of that, he appeared. normal.

"hey, were gunna eat soon you can join or i can bring you something if you want to be alone?" the offer was sweet, somehow he had read my mind, knowing exactly that i didn't want to be around people right now, or a certain person in particular.

however if i was going to listen to what i said in the bathroom. i had to go out there, act as if nothing bothered me. be someone else, not the girl who cowered in a room alone because she was too afraid to eat with 7 measly murderers.

shaking my head at the offer, "it's fine i'll eat with you guys" his expression looked taken back, he certainly wasn't expecting that answer. the past few days i've been eating in jimins room, occasionally joined by the douche himself. that had to stop. it was time for a fresh start. how cliche however this was the first hurdle.

...

somehow entering the kitchen area, i was strangely more afraid to face jimin than i was yoongi. if that didn't tell me something than i don't know what did. right now, i'd rather dine with the boy who tried to choke me to death, than the one who made me choke on my feelings.

some of the boys crowded round a table filling their plates up before taking a seat in the lounge. disregarding the table that was meant to be sat at, it didn't really bother me where we ate to be honest. jimin wasn't arround yet, i could sense the air was clean of 'liars'. hoseok noticed me handing me a plate, i fished up some food which surprisingly smelt so good. who knew criminals could do a good spread.

we all sat, sprawled across the multiple sofas. all finished with the food i happily consumed. there was banter and relaxed conversations across the group, i sat by hoseok just intently listening to the conversations he was in. not really saying anything, i didn't really have anything to input. that was until one of the boys mentioned my name, drawing my attention to their chat now.

"she's claimed by jimin and we all know how that's gunna end" coming from jungkook with a smirk draped on his face, whispering to yoongi. his mocking laughter ripping from his lungs, the conversation held a certain feeling, like there was something missing i didn't know.

"excuse me?" the attention of all the boys around me focused, jungkooks laughter simmering down his eyes meeting mine, he looked unbothered to the fact i had heard him.