Swell (Complete)

Chapter Twenty-Eight (Part One)

"Fake it, you'll never get ahead of it.
Trace it, back to where we started."

....

Brett tapped his fingers on his cast as he waited Sunday afternoon. He'd thought long and hard about what he wanted to do, he'd even spoken to his sister about his decision.
The knocks were softer than Gus would normally knock, but immediately after they sounded, his tall cousin's face appeared in the crack in the door.
"Hey." Gus stepped into his bedroom and Brett almost felt guilty because of the downtrodden appearance of Gus's normally strong shoulders.
"Hey." He swallowed a lump and reminded himself why he had made the decision. "Thanks for coming."
"Well, you said it was important." Gus took the seat on the guitar stool next to Brett's bed.
"Yea. I want you to go home."
"What?" Gus looked at him in surprise. "But you asked me here to help keep an eye on..."
"I know, but that was before I knew about summer. If I'd known about you taking her crush for granted, I would never have asked you here."
Gus' surprise turned to guilt and he averted his eyes.
"You knew better, but didn't care. You took advantage of her, and lied to me." Brett tried to keep the upset from his voice.
"I didn't lie..." Gus muttered.
"You knew how I felt. What you did..." He stopped himself and took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry, Brett." Gus shrugged. "I was a jackass."
"You still are, from what I've heard." Brett thought about Adora telling him about her repeated 'nos' and Gus still trying. He clenched his jaw together and tried to keep his breathing steady.
Gus closed his eyes and nodded. "You're right."
"Thanks for coming, and thanks for leaving." Brett said sternly, pointing to the door.
Gus stood up and Brett watched him leave his room.
Once he was alone, he closed his eyes and slumped into his pillows. He felt his emotions shaking throughout his body and forced himself to let go of a deep breath.
He was still worried about Adora and the cards, but he couldn't trust his cousin to actually keep an eye on her, as opposed to make advances on her.
Maybe he could trust her cousin?

Gus packed his bags and loaded his car up. He had been a douche bag to Adora and his cousin. He couldn't deny that.
He hadn't always been an idiot, he'd just been so caught up in the crush Adora had on him, and her sweet eyes.
He jiggled the petrol nozzle as it clicked off and checked the cost on the bowser. His phone sat on the passenger seat of his car and he picked his wallet up and headed inside the service station to pay.
He felt in a strange daze because of his guilt. When did his ego become more important than his friendship with Brett?

The sandy entrance to the cliffs above the cove was unavoidable, Gus turned into the driveway without even realising his blinker had been ticking.
He parked in the empty carpark and stared out of his windscreen at the spot he and Adora had had their first kiss.
Looking down at her beloved cove, summer breeze blowing her long hair around them.
He turned the engine off and decided to have one last look into the beautiful cove.
He felt guilty, and sad, and like an utter asshole for what he'd done to his cousin, and for how he'd tried to kiss Adora even after she'd said no. Twice.
He didn't deserve to be friends with either of them, not the way he had betrayed them.
Had he even come back to help Brett, or just to have more chances with Adora?
He sat on the edge of the middle cliff point and looked down at the rocky drop. He remembered Adora leading him to the other side of the cove and over to the rocks she so often sat on.
Even after they'd had sex there was a naïve innocence about her. It was irresistibly endearing, a trap he'd fallen into again and again this visit.
Brett and Adora both deserved better.
It was right to leave town now, before he made even more of a fool of himself.
He closed his eyes and thought back to the waterfalls; the summer's first time, and the recent picnic where he'd forced a kiss on her lips.
Would he have kept going if they'd been there alone? If he hadn't been worried about Marti seeing him trying to force his affections on Adora?
The thought made his eyes snap open and the anger welled up inside his chest, tensing every muscle under his skin.
Would he really have gone that far if Marti had not been a potential witness?
He was no better than the person who had attacked his cousin and sent Adora the cards.
The wind burned his eyes and he hit the ground beside him with his fists.
He was disgusted in himself and these new thoughts. He couldn't be sure if he would have carried on, but the mere idea that he would have was enough to make his stomach churn; would he really have crossed that line Adora had drawn twice?
Was he really that much of a monster?

He stayed on the ground for a while longer, trying to ease his anger and convince himself he wouldn't have turned into a rapist.
It wasn't until he felt droplets of water landing in his blond hair that he realised how much time he had wasted. He stood up and looked down at the sand on the cove's shore.
The waves were high on the rocks and the sand was damp with the sinking tide and the darker drops of water.
He remembered countless sunsets with Adora wrapped under his arm, leaning against him. He could still smell her hair. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath of the sweet scent mixing with the salty sea air and frowned.
There was another scent in the wind, more than just the salty residue from the ocean.

He heard a car door close and started to turn around on the edge of the cliff.