Swell (Complete)

Chapter Twelve

"Don't make me be just another mistake,
But still it's a chance that I'm willing to take, for you.
It's all for you."

....

The noise around me gave me mixed feelings.
Part of me felt comforted, knowing that there was no way anyone would know what I was thinking, but another part couldn't shake the paranoia, or the intense loneliness that sat deep in my stomach.
The pub was full of people invited to the dinner, celebrating Sam Dodgers' 32nd birthday.
Adora was laughing and smiling, as if there wasn't a ghost in her heart, but I knew better. I knew inside she was fighting tears. Tears for her grief, for her father.
I hated the people around us, how dare they make her celebrate when she had such loss in her heart.
I wanted to drive a car into the pub and kill them all.
Pick her up and take her away from them all, show her it was ok to stop pretending, show her that she would never have to pretend with me.
A deep breath moved my shoulders and I felt a smile itch on my lips as I thought about the two of us driving along the highway.
My imagination had a convertible, the roof was down and the wind was blowing in our hair. She was snuggled into me as we took the curves together.
It was a beautiful dream, and her loud laugh brought me back into the dimly lit pub, away from the sunshine and bright blue ocean images.

I looked over at her, Iain and Brett joking with her about something I wasn't in on.
The pit inside opened up and the loneliness became choking. They didn't care.
I reached for my drink and finished what was left in it quickly.
The affection displayed between the three made me feel alone like I never knew I could feel. I was invisible to them, an invisible thing that didn't exist.
Adora punched Iain playfully and nudged Brett. Brett's eyes shone as he looked down at her.
I suddenly realised he loved her.
There was a twinkle I knew well.
How had I missed it?
Everytime she spoke, his face lit up, when she looked at him it was like the sun was shining on his face.
I swallowed a lump and tried to calm the rage that was replacing the loneliness. Anger that I'd not noticed it, anger of Brett's unspoken feelings.
Watching them now I couldn't understand how I'd not seen it. A mirror to the expression on Will's face whenever he'd been with Liss.
Was it him?
Was Brett the real reason Adora was so unavailable?
Well, that would change tonight.
I stood up and moved through the remaining party goers until I stood outside in the cold night.
Inside had been suffocating since Adora left.
How dare these friends and family force her to come and be here tonight, how dare Brett get in my way.
How was I going to get him out of it?
I lifted my eyes over the main street of town and ground my teeth as I thought. There was always going to be someone ruining my happiness, first Liss, now Brett.
My hands were clenched so tightly that my skin was hurting, then suddenly my eyes landed on the Lancer. A smile crossed my lips and I knew how I was going to clear the obstacle in between Adora and I.
Like my first thought of driving a car into the pub, but more targeted. I laughed as I crossed the street to the car.

The wait was the painful part.
I sat behind the steering wheel at the entrance of the back laneway, staring at the dumpster watching as Brett's sister brought out a bag and dumped it into the large dumpster. My fingers twitched and for a few moments my impatience almost ruined my plan, but I took a deep breath and she went back into the pub's back door.
She wasn't a problem, she wasn't even part of our life.
It was another wait that felt like half the night before I saw the light flick back on, bathing the dumpster in its glow. I straightened up in the seat and felt every muscle in my body tense as Brett stepped down into the laneway with two black rubbish bags.
I watched him carry them to the dumpster, lift the lid, and swing one bag smoothly into the metal bin.
I revved the engine and when he turned towards me I turned the headlights on and then the high beams. His arm lifted to protect his eyes and I took the brake off.

***

Brett lifted the lid of the bin and made sure it locked into place. The back light of the pub shone towards the back ally where they shared the dumpster with other shops, but it didn't quite completely reach the big bin.
He lifted the first black bag from the ground, the glass bottles from Dodge's party clinking together and making a hollow sound. He dropped the bag into the dumpster, listening to the glass crash into more rubbish from the party.

He heard the revving and then headlights caught his attention.
Frowning he turned around to look towards the alleyway's entrance. His eyes grew wide and he froze on the spot, it truly was like a deer in headlights. The dim lights were turned up and he blinked and moved his arm to cover his eyes from the blinding high beams.
Before he could comprehend that the car was moving he felt the bumper slam into his legs. His body crashed onto the bonnet and he cried out in pain as he was jammed between the hood of the car and the dumpster. He heard the scraping and cringing metal of the dumpster as the car pushed them into the wall of the pub.
The engine started to idle and he groaned, still pinned into the dumpster and now leaning over the front of the car's hot bonnet. The car reversed and he fell onto the pavement limply.
A car door opened and shut, he lifted his head, weakly trying to push himself up from the ground, trying to make out the figure moving towards him from the driver's side.
He grunted in pain as he attempted to get up onto his hands and knees. His knees gave way underneath him and he shouted out in agony as he landed on the pavement, pain exploded in his eyes.
"Stay down, Brett. Don't ever get up again." The low voice standing over him growled before he felt the foot connect with his stomach.

* * *

I hadn't thought about what to do with the car once I'd finished.
Leaving Brett bloodied on the ground once I knew he was unconscious was easy. I didn't even know if he was still alive, but it didn't matter.
He wasn't competition anymore, and devastated Adora would need a shoulder to cry on.
Now I was sitting in the car on some outlook just outside of town. The headlights were smashed of course, from the impact with the dumpster.
What could I do to get rid of the car?
I took a deep breath and looked out to the blackness of the ocean. I couldn't even see where it met with the sky on the horizon.
Then I realised what I had to do.
A small smile crossed my lips and I chuckled a little. I put the car into drive and opened the driver's door. I had to be careful; I'd seen people do it on TV and in movies all the time.
Car in drive, park brake off, and push.
I could do that, easy.
Surely it was as easy as it looked, and it wasn't like I'd parked on a hill. The car wasn't going to go backwards.
No, the only place the car was going to go when I took the brake off and pushed was forward and off the cliff into the rocks and thrashing waves below.
Gone would the evidence be, smashed at the bottom of the cliffs.
Standing awkwardly outside the car, I leaned over the driver's seat and pushed the handbrake down. I pushed on the window frame and heaved the car forward. It wasn't hard to get it the momentum it needed to careen forward and off the sharp drop.
I hurried over to the edge of the cliff and looked down in time to see the dark water swallow the car up. However, it didn't entirely disappear under the black surface.
My heart jerked and I watched with wide eyes as the waves buffeted the boot of the sedan. It was an agonising few minutes before the rocks and the cliff walls crumbled the rest of the car under the pressure of the sea foam.
I felt as though I could finally breathe again and I sank down to the damp ground.
Crimes of passion weren't as easy to escape from as they made out on TV, but there was the evidence of my second one.
Swallowed by the high tide, and leaving me alone to walk back into my new hometown and wait that desperate phone call.