Since Birth

Chapter Fourteen

Arthur could tell the differences of emotion in Merlin's eyes. He'd spent countless hours scouring though his brain, studying them with intense thought, attempting to crack the code. But he soon found out it wasn't a code, but rather a pattern. An assortment of displayed pictures ranging from 'felicity' to 'distraught'.

Right now Merlin was somewhere in the middle.

That was at least what Arthur was guessing, though. He was just as confused as the latter male. Just when everything was starting to follow right, south suddenly made itself prominent, guiding them to the foreign abyss down below. The blond would often ponder to question the meaning of it. Everybody was saying how the heavens was a mystical, holy place where the Gods would welcome them with open arms, yet nobody tries to die to travel to that destination early. They all decide to cope with Earth's horrendous atmosphere of monarchy and money between selling coins and people.

Arthur wasn't sure if there even were Gods anymore.

"-well that's unfortunate," he heard Princess Ione exclaim with plastered somberness; a distinct smudged line, but not drawn to exclude perfection. "I was just beginning to know your servant."

Arthur grit his teeth from her voiced undertones. "He never took a liking to you, m'lady," he tried as a polite retort, cocking his head up to show his confidence.

Ione raised a brow. "So he found another, I suppose?"

"Yes."

Her lips smacked together, as the Princess averted the blond's gaze, patting down her dress to remove any blemishes as a distraction. A moment of revaluation followed, as she then gave a tight smile, staring into the other's eyes.

"May you treat him well." Cheeks heating, Arthur sternly nodded. He had to give credit to the Princess for being clever as to figuring the puzzle out.

Or maybe Arthur was just an oblivious fool. He wouldn't be surprised if Merlin thought the same thing.

____________________

When Merlin stresses he tends to follow certain actions that his parents taught him to execute in order to stay calm. His mother would tell him to—

"Take a deep breath in." Hunith watched her son closely. "C'mon, honey, you can do it. In..." She instructed the action as a demonstration. Merlin thought it would be easy to breathe. But it was so hard. So very hard. His mind was in a jumbled pile of emotions, and his body was beginning to drag in with his mind. Breathing in, Merlin choked once on a tumbled sob, before trying again. He could do this. He had to calm down.

"Good, Merlin. Now release." Leading by giving another example, Merlin followed suit. It began to become easier after that. In and out. An ongoing pattern that he could abide the rules by. It was simple enough.

He was seven at the time. But now, as Merlin laid next to the fire he constructed purely from magic, he had the entire night to let his emotions drag him. Thoughts were provoking built up anger and solemness. His mind felt heavier by the minute. They were constantly agitating him, poking at him with weightless fingers.

Swallowing, Merlin blinked several times before asking the question that's been torturing him ever since the incident. He had to know. No more silent questioning to himself. No more stalling. Now was the time. "Why did you kill her?" The brunet took notice to the blond shifting in discomfort beside him, but Merlin was calm, persistent.

"I had no deal with my father, Merlin," Arthur rescinded, huffing once in only what Merlin considered was regret. "I had no intentions of killing either of your parents."

Rolling his eyes, Merlin was aware of the tears finally beginning to pool in his eyes, the familiar burn rushing through his face. He was about to croak a response out, but realized he couldn't trust his voice. Not anymore.

"I don't think magic is bad, Merlin." The brunet saw the elder turn his face to stare at him. "You made me believe it isn't."

Merlin disregarded Arthur's comments, deciding instead to gaze at the now watery stars. As if a filter splashed over the night sky, the younger man analyzed how the dots of different whites shone even brighter. Merlin wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"-I woke up and you weren't there, Merlin! Do you even understand what was going through my mind at that moment?"

Arthur's voice was increasing to a shout, but the stars seemed to be defeaning. Their language seemed to be cryptic; as they each spoke with faint winks to eachother.

"-thought you were kidnapped! I thought something terrible happened to you! And you expected me to just accept that?"

Merlin wished he was a star. They were up high, free as a bird, and didn't have to worry about any troubles or responsibilities that lay on their shoulders. Infact, they didn't have shoulders at all. He would be burning, but not like on the pyre. It would be dissimilar.

Yet so amazing.

Flying so light he wouldn't even have to feel the touch of pain ever again.

"-just to realize my father was following me! I didn't even know your father was Balinor!"

Was that salt Merlin tasted? No, iron. The brunet wasn't sure; it was a combination. He didn't even register the pain of him biting the soft skin of his lips until blood hit his tongue. Merlin didn't know why he was clamping his teeth down in the first place. There was just something odd tickling against the walls of his thought; vibrations, almost. Was he sobbing?

"-I'm sorry I didn't mean to. Merlin, please don't cry."

So he was. He wasn't sure if letting the tears release from his straining eyes was a relief or just a burden at this point. All Merlin understood in the haze of events was warm arms pulling him into a blanket of heat, a hand carding nimble fingers through his hair, and his ears hearing a heartbeat that seemed to increase in speed by the second.

"-it's okay Merlin. I've got you. You know I would never hurt you. I love you."

Hurt him? Did Arthur threaten him after being worked up like that? Merlin didn't even care anymore.

"Say something, Merlin. Please, just say something."

It was at this point that the brunet realized he was an idiot. A damn imbecile for realizing his mistake. All Arthur had ever shown him was compassion, generosity, and most importantly, love. Something nobody else had ever given him so strongly before. The elder would never betray him like that. Never. Not without a reason.

"-oh gods, Merlin. I'm so, so sorry."

So he wasn't the only one crying. It was okay, Merlin was well aware enough that Arthur would stick with him through thick and thin.

Arthur would never leave him.

And neither would Merlin.

He had to forgive him.

"I'm sorry for being a intolerable brat," he sniffed. Clinging gently onto the fabric of the blond's shirt, he tried to show some comfort. Apparently it was enough, because he heard Arthur give a breathy laugh through deep inhales and a gurgled mouth. Kissing his locks long and firmly, Arthur released a sigh through his nose, signaling to Merlin that things would work out.

They would be alright.

They had to be.

Right?

A/N: Hello everyone! If you all have enjoyed this chapter, please leave a vote or comment down below! It makes me so happy that y'all enjoy my book; it warms my heart immensely! Thank you everyone so much! Bye!