𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤. [✓]

viii

please read the end

♡

the entire day renjun avoided jaemin and jeno at all costs. he wasn't in the mood to be sad. today way his date with chan. even if it's a terrible idea, it might work. sure, renjun would talk to the rest of his friend group, but not the other two. as he and chan flirted, jaemin and jeno watched far way. it was hurting the two just to even glance at renjun and chan.

❝it's going to be fine, right? we're going to be okay, right?❞ jaemin suddenly asked. jeno didn't answer. he didn't know what was going to happen. he didn't know if renjun was really going to date chan. he didn't know anything anymore. ❝nana, i don't know. i don't know anymore. it hurts so bad.❞ jeno felt tears prickle in his eyes. jaemin squeezed the older's hand.

❝i think it's best if we don't see renjun. i know we love him, but, he's after someone else. someone who can provide something we can't.❞ ❝let's go,❞ the koreans left. renjun saw the two leave. he shook his head. it was about him and chan now. as much as he didn't want to leave jaemin and jeno, he knew he had to. he had to leave everything behind.

❝renjun? are you okay?❞chan asked. renjun snapped out of his thoughts and smiled. ❝i'm fine.❞ ❝are you ready?❞ the chinese nodded and held the older's hand in his. walking away, renjun found himself shivering. it wasn't cold. ❝are you cold?❞ chan took off his sweatshirt and gave it to renjun. renjun thanked him. but that didn't stop it. nothing did.

💗

❝i came here with my older brother, sicheng.❞ renjun said. chan hummed in response. the date went well. but, both knew that they couldn't do this. they couldn't pretend to date. it was too painful. ❝what about your mom and dad?❞ chan saw renjun tense up at his question. truth be told, renjun's parents left his life. they didn't care for him and his brother.

it was like they weren't even their children. renjun's mom only sends about 20 dollars twice a year. their dad was gone. so much for expecting something from a deadbeat dad. people would ask sicheng and renjun if they missed their parents. they didn't. why would they?

what kind of parents expect their kids to miss them if they left them? since sicheng was 12, mr and mrs huang kicked both out. ❝my parents kicked us out. i was only 9. my mom only sends me 20 dollars. that's it. i never talk to her. i don't even call her my mom, there's no point.❞

❝damn. look, if you ever need a place to stay, you can always call me.❞ renjun shook his head. sicheng and renjun can make it. they can. sicheng worked, and hell, yuta practically lived with the two brothers. they would be okay. they didn't need their parents. chan realised that they arrived at renjun's house. about to open the door, renjun turned to chan. their faces were only a few inches apart.

the chinese stood on his tippy toes and pressed his lips to chan's. chan was taken back by renjun sudden action, but he kissed back. it took a few seconds for the two to pull away. they said their goodbyes and parted ways. as chan drove away, renjun walked into his room.

❝god damn it. this is so fucking wrong and so was the kiss.❞

[☁️]
i'm so sorry for the delayed update. i'm going through so much, i can't focus. i start school soon. i'm trying so hard to not let all my crap get to my head, but it's so hard. i'm so so sorry. i'm sorry for having you guys deal with my shit. it's so hard, i don't know what to do. some of this story is actually reflecting what i'm going though right now. i know this is so depressing, and i promise you it will get better. but, i am going to be okay, i will get through this. i actually thought i wasn't going to live up to the end of 2018, but i did. i know i'm getting dark and shit. i'm sorry for this short and shitty chapter. i'm mental health issues are affecting my writing, i'm sorry again.

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