Come Break Me Down

Chapter 35

I lay in bed, unable to sleep after our argument from earlier. How would things move forward from here? There was no future for us if that's how he truly felt, and to be honest, it made no sense. We shared so much and our bond appeared to be stronger than ever. Did he seriously think that our relationship wasn't worthy of a commitment?

Granting myself a glance in his direction, I saw that his eyes were closed and his breathing was steady. He was fast asleep, just like I should be, but his attitude and words earlier in the night were brutal. They were like the spray of bullets, piercing my heart and leaving behind gaping wounds that I wasn't sure would ever heal.

The truth was, he didn't think that I was good enough for him. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but each time he hurt me, was like a new wound added to my collection. I was good enough to live with him and wash his clothes. To prepare his meals, and drop everything for sex whenever he wanted, all of those things, yes, but I wasn't good enough to marry. How would that make any woman feel?
I'm not sure how long I lay there awake, trying to understand why he felt like he did, but at some point, I dozed off.
If it weren't for the bright beams of sunlight bursting through the blinds in the window, I'd still be asleep. Blinking my eyes and struggling to adjust them to the illumination, I twisted my head around to find the spot next to me, empty. It was only seven, but he was already up and out of bed.

Dropping my head back down onto the pillow, I groaned. I wished I could stay in bed and feel sorry for myself all day, but I couldn't.

Jared still had some promotional stuff to do for the movie and I promised Natalie to go dress shopping with her. I figured that getting out wouldn't be such a bad thing, it would keep me occupied and away from him for a few hours. I knew we needed a break anyway.

I made some coffee and read Natalie's text, stating that she would pick me up in a few hours. Groaning, I carried my mug up to the bathroom. Sipping my coffee, I turned on the hot water.

I showered and was already dressed when I heard the front door slam closed. Whoever he was on the phone with, was getting an earful. He was not in a good mood and I thought it was best to keep my mouth shut and only speak to him if he spoke to me first. I was busy applying my makeup when I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs.

He glanced at me when he entered the room and then stepped out of his shoes. "So, you're going shopping with Natalie?"

"Yes." One word responses is what he would get.

He pulled his shirt off and began looking through the clean clothes that had been neatly stacked on the dresser. Once he found the one he wanted, he pulled it over his head and plugged his phone into the charger. "Have fun," he said before plopping down on the mattress.

The tension between us was so thick and even though he spoke to me, I was still annoyed by his behavior last night. "Thanks," I let out a deep breath and stood, gathering my things, ready to leave. Without another word, I picked up the empty coffee mug and walked down to the kitchen, tossing it into the sink. I shoved my phone into my purse and patiently waited for Natalie to pick me up.
We hit the shops in pursuit of the perfect dress. She tried on a few and we both ended up making a few purchases, but by four, she still hadn't found the perfect dress for the wedding.

Natalie was like me, very picky and we were in the middle of making plans for another shopping day when she saw a beautiful burgundy strapless dress. It was perfect for the wedding and looked amazing on her. I could see the relief wash over her as she made the purchase and we exited the shop.

She thanked me as she pulled up in front of the house. Shannon came walking outside and as Natalie turned off the ignition, he moved toward us. "Ladies, how was shopping?"

"Great! I found the perfect dress. I can't wait for you to see it." Natalie started to walk around the car, but Shannon stopped her. She smiled when he pulled her into a hug.

"I'd love to see you try it on for me. Come on, babe, I'll race you home. See ya Ava."

I carried my bags to the gate, "You guys aren't coming in?"

Natalie looked at me, obviously a little confused, but Shannon shook his head and smiled. "Nah, I'm taking my baby out tonight. We will see you guys later. Have a good night."

I nodded at them and Natalie glanced over at me with the biggest shit eating grin on her face. I sighed, feeling a little jealous, but still thrilled for them. Shannon deserved it and the fact that I loved Nat just made things even better. I stood there until they both drove away before walking through the gate and closing it behind me.
I stepped inside and it was eerily quiet as I dropped my bags and purse. The most delicious smell lured me to the kitchen. Nothing looked out of place and I glanced into the dining room to see Jared seated at the table with a nicely prepared meal.
"HI," I said, walking all the way inside.

"HI." He stood and moved closer, pulling me against him. "I'm sorry about last night. Can we talk?"

"Sure," I said as he let go of me and pulled my chair out. He sat across from me and I grinned. "Did you do this by yourself?"

"No, I had a little help from Shannon." He leaned forward, giving me a sweet smile. "Look, I know that you want to take the next step in this relationship. I mean, any woman would expect that, it is the next logical step, I suppose. I just worry that we fight so much and let's face it, there's been a lot of fighting in the past few months." My heart sank, listening to him speak and thinking that he was going to tell me that our relationship would never progress.

"Fuck, I don't know how to do this." He got up and started pacing, staring down at the floor like he was choosing his words. "I feel so bad about the way I acted last night. I didn't mean to sound cold, you know, like I don't care about you or the possibility of us ever getting married. It got me thinking that I could potentially lose you. That really freaked me out, but at the same time, I don't want to ask you to marry me just because I don't want to lose you. I do love you and I have no issue with that being known." He moved closer and kneeled down next to me, pulling out a small black jewelry box from his pocket. "This is not an engagement ring, not yet." I stayed quiet and watched him open the box. "We are moving forward Ava, but I just want to take it slow. I see no reason to rush things."

"I agree, there's no need to rush." I said, cupping his face in my hands and kissing his lips. I slid the ring onto my finger and held my hand out to admire how it looked.

"Does this mean you like it?" He asked, standing up and moving back to his chair.

"I love it!" I could care less about the food at that point, but I knew that he put a lot of effort into dinner. "Everything is beautiful and it's nice to see that softer side of you sometimes."

He licked over his lips and raised his eyebrow, "Yeah, well, don't get too comfortable with it, you haven't seen what I have set up in the bedroom."

-The End-