Be My One Regret

be my 1 regret / then

6 years ago~

"Fi, just tell me what happened? Please. Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?"

The bathroom door handle shakes again. And I blankly stare at it thru tears. "Go away Tanner. I just want to be alone."

"I don't believe you, Fi. C'mon, just let me in. I'm not leaving until I see your beautiful face."

There's a slight bump to the door. And it lightly bumps again. And again. Annoying the embarrassing shit out of me. I swipe away the latest stream of wetness down my cheek and groan. "Gawd, I told you to go away. Quit banging your head on the door. You'll bruise that perfect forehead of yours. And I'm telling you, it's not going to make me feel guilty enough to let you in. So just go. Please."

"Sorry babe, appreciate your concern for my divine gene-pool features, but it's not discouraging me what so ever. As long as you're in there, I'm staying right here. I know you're upset and I know you're crying. This door is not as thick as you think. I can hear you sniffling. So, just be a good girl, and open the door for me. Let me make it all better."

I hate the gentle sincerity in his voice. It only hurts more. And I cringe. "Forget it. I'm fine. Go back to the dance, have some fun for me."

A sigh heaves thru the thin crack of the door frame. "C'mon, Fi. You're just being stubborn now. I could care less about the dance. You know I only went with Cara Blake because my mother made me after she saw my 'guy on guy' porn stash. You need to quit being such a pain in the ass for me. I've already endured so much tonight with one self absorbed prima-donna."

The look of horror on Tanner's mother's face stirs a giggle in my throat. It's a humorous balm to my mood, and I flick the remaining tears off my face with my fingers and smile. "Gawd, I wish I had been there to see that."

There's a faint chuckle thru the door. "You would have loved it. Her head nearly spun off her tiny neck as she almost hurled in exorcism screams. You'd been in heaven to see her misery." His head bumps the wooden frame again and he lightly jiggles the handle again. "C'mon, Fi. It's just me. Let me in. I wanna hold you. I wanna make you laugh again. Please, baby."

Agony belts me in the stomach to hear him genuinely plead. And it's enough to make my heart ache just to be in his arms. With conflicted resolution, I shift my weight off the bathroom counter and slip down to the floor in my bare feet. The crinoline of my dress swishes as it falls around my ankles, and I glance back to see my reflection in the mirror. The image was painfully revealing. The crisp detail of the form fitting black lace with nude underlay material of my dress was still impressive in style. The sleek updo of my blonde locks remain  perfectly in place by a can of hairspray and diamond pins tucking around the loose curls. The bright red corsage of roses still clings to my wrist signifying a well planned evening. But it's the streaks of mascara that line my face distorting the once porcelain finish of my make up that shrouds the success of the night. The overwhelming display guts me with remorse of the worst kind, and I wince.

Damn it. I look like shit. This was suppose to be a fun tonight. But then my date had to go be an asshole. Gawd. When am I going to learn not to trust anybody in this God forsaken town?

A louder bang on the door jerks me to attention. "Ophelia Evangeline Savage. Open the fucking door."

"Gawd, mom, just gimme a second." I groan resentfully at the unnecessary unleashing of my full legal name. I hiss and mutter at him while grabbing a handful of tissues from the box on the counter and start smearing the black stains off my face.