Be My One Regret

be my 1 regret /then

10 years ago~

"Oh my gawd, Mom, I don't need the talk." My cheeks heat with embarrassment. I shift to my feet and stand by my dresser. Uncomfortable to the say the least, my eyes roll for the fiftieth time in the past ten minutes. I was only 13 and definitely did not want to talk about anything bird or bee related with my mother. Like ever.

Yet, there she was. My mom. The lovely Olivia Savage sitting on the edge of my prissy pink canopy princess bed gazing at me expectantly, dutifully, and perfectly straight in pose. Effortlessly refined in her favorite tweed Burberry pant suit and fabulously spiked Valentino heels, even on a Tuesday afternoon, my mom was killer when it came to style. Which I hoped to someday be just like her when it came to fashion. And I hoped to have a tenth of her beauty. Not one wrinkle creased her dewy cream colored skin. Her flaxen locks coiffed and styled fresh from the salon. And her eyes, her gentle doe eyes with their hazel almost brown color, they were breathtaking, comforting, and loving. Which I had been told many times that we shared those features, but I had yet to see it when I look in the mirror. In my mind, she was perfection. No one would ever be like her. Not even me. She was an angel. And I was just lucky to have her as my mom. Even if she was talking about awkward things like boys.

Gah. Boys. Gross. Like I'd like a boy ever. And like they'd ever like me. This was pointless.

She clears her throat softly in that motherly way as her own beautiful face tinges with hot pink. Which only makes her more beautiful. "Oh, sweetie, I know. You're so young. But I see the way some boys look at you when we go out shopping. And I just want you to be prepared."

Not a clue what she was talking about, I huff. "Prepared for what?"

The pink in her face deepens. "Prepared for more than just your first crush, your first kiss, your first time, your first love."

All those 'firsts' repeat thru my head tortuously in my mom's voice, and my own face flames hotly at the humiliation. "Um, okay. But I don't think that's stuff I have to worry about right now. So, can we just not talk about it anymore? "

She presses her soft pink lips into a sweet smile as she stands and crosses the room to hug me. And I relax in that hug. Forgiving her slightly for bringing up such a gross topic. Her manicured hand lightly rubs my back, soothing me a little more. And I completely forgive her. Because she had that affect on me. Every single time. I could not stay mad at my mom. I loved her. So very much. And I couldn't imagine life without her.

I lift my head and smile. "I love you, mom."

Her eyes water a little as she cups my chin. "And I love you. More than you'll ever know. Which as much as you hate hearing me talk about things like this, I just want you to know what to do. Because sweetie, you are so beautiful, and some day, some boy is going to see that too. And honey, some day, there will be that one boy that you will want to marry."

"Mom. Oh my gawd. Stop." I roll my eyes again flustering with so much heat, my face burned.

She lets out a silly giggle then crinkles her nose in a cute way. "Oh, my sweet Ophelia, you will. I promise you. And you'll be all starry eyed and fluttery over him." I heave an annoyed sigh which smooths a more serious expression over her soft face. She purses her pouty lips. "But just so you know, life is way more complicated than you think. Don't ever settle. You deserve the world."