Be My One Regret

be my 1 regret / then

4 years ago~

The night air bites my skin. It's a chilly fall breeze but my heartbeats were throbbing so heavy in my chest, I was warm. Excited and warm. It'd been a few days since he called. It had been an awkward call. Filled with promises and longing. And it had haunted me for hours after until I chose to make a road trip to see him. Surprise him.

Because who doesn't love a surprise? Right? 

Yeah. Sure. Surprise are always good.

My heart quickens at the thought, and I shuffle faster thru the rustling tree leaves that cover the sidewalk. Passing by one frat house after another. Lights spill out from their large windows. College co -eds laugh and carouse on their expansive lawns. Red cups lay in piles around turned over discarded kegs. It was Friday night. And even at ten pm, the parties were already in full swing.

I nervously glance at the number on each building as I pass. Not one matching the number on the paper in my hand. Not yet. I had been told that the campus was large. I just had no idea how large and even after three blocks in, I was still plodding along in my Vince Camuto booties wincing as my toes pinched. I sigh thinking about my trip here. And what I was doing here at all. Since I also had been warned, so to speak, that the college was also very social and notoriously boisterous. A far cry from the small, quiet, academically inclined university that I was attending. This one  was the exact opposite. But it was scary and fascinating at the same time. Thus, my curiosity to see it first hand had won over my better judgment to avoid.

"Hey sexy! What's your name?"

"Yeah, baby. Are you lost? Do you need help? I can show you the way."

"Whoa, hot stuff. You gonna stop long enough to let us get you a beer? Maybe get to know you better?"

The cat calls and questions assault me from one of the giant houses. They continue despite my best effort to ignore. And I cringe reconsidering my choice in coming alone. Which my stuffy know-it-all college room mate would be delighted in telling me that she told me so. I could hear her snooty mom-like voice clear as a bell. ..'Girls don't travel at night alone nor do they go to another school in another state to see some guy unexpectedly. That's setting you up for all kinds of trouble. Do you really want that?'. Nausea swirls in my head and belly, and I hunch my shoulders in.

Gawd. I hate that she's right. This was out of my comfort zone.  And I'm an idiot. I should have called first. Maybe I should just turn around and go...

Out of nowhere, a coolish hand grabs my elbow. "Hey."

The grasp stutters my heart beats to blinding speeds. And I don't even think. I spin and start swinging like a freak. "Back the fuck up!"

"Whoa. Ow. Whoa. Hey. Knock it off. Ow."

The hand releases from my elbow, and I jump back a few more feet even though his hands are clearly in the air signaling surrender. The presumed assailant's dark shoulder length hair was crowned with a worn beanie. His leather jacket was loose and his jeans are rocker tight. He was skinny but not scrawny. A definite rock and roll band vibe of a body with a scroll of ink along the side of his neck. And a ring piercing in his lower lip. He was almost emo scary, if it weren't for his eyes. They're a soft gray. They're gentle. And errantly close in reflecting tendencies to be like everyone's friendly neighborhood Spider-man in real life. Which settles my inner fight goddess. A little.

I clear my head with a shake. "Gawd, you don't just grab a person in the dark like that. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Sorry." Emo guy backs away a step of his own and rubs his hand down his leathered arm. "Damn girl, I was just trying to help. I saw those guys at the Omega Psi house from across the street. And I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You didn't look okay at the time but clearly you are fine."