Be My One Regret

be my 1 regret / 29

now~

COMPLICATIONS ARE LIKE @#$%*!.....just sayin'

Crazy how my life wants to live in FML mode. Every day. Like I was meant to live there permanently. And as I sit in the conference room at Savage Endeavors on a Monday morning waiting for my dad and preparing myself to have one helluva showdown with him, I snicker at my luck.

Holy shit. Where do I start actually? Congratulations you're a grandpa or congratulations on your forced retirement?

Both ideas trigger another snicker up my throat again as I nervously drum my fingers on the conference room table. They both were ludicrous. And he was going to lose his ever loving mind over either. So, it really didn't matter where I started.

Nope. Not really. Just rip that band aid, Fi. Rip it fast.

The inner scold winds up my anxiety, and I chew on my bottom lip. Trying to keep my head on straight, I settle back in the leathery swivel chair and review the past few weeks. Sadly, my summer was over. With it, my internship at B&B, and leaving me with my impending doom at Savage Endeavors. Which I made myself avoid thinking about thru Labor Day and then some. After finding out about my 'condition', nothing else seemed important. So I crashed. Spending more than several days at my childhood home. Funny enough, I was less nauseous within a day of my camping out in the house. It was almost like the house was wrapping me in a nurturing hug, calming me like my mom would do, if she was there. Both Tanner and Tucker had been gracious. Keeping quiet. Watching over me. Buying me my favorite gourmet foods and having it prepared by a personal chef. Pampering me with in-home masseuses. Calling in favors to have my work from B&B set up thru my laptop from the comforts of my canopy princess bed. It was sweet at first, but after almost a week of their weird hovering, I finally kicked the two idiot man-boys out of the house. I was appreciative. But I also knew their mother would start asking questions. And those were questions and conversations I didn't want to have yet. Not until I spoke to my dad first. So they left me. Reluctantly. Like two cute dogs with tails between their legs swearing up and down to call and check up on me. Which they did. Annoyingly. So, in turn,  I started ignoring them and pouring my energy into work and life. And I was grateful for my laptop. It's purposeful distraction of resources and contacts were worth their weight in gold. I used it religiously.

First, I grew a pair of lady balls and set up that OB appointment. Went to it. Discussed options with the friendly doctor. And still left just as confused. My head overwhelmed by which choice was best for me and the 'father'. Which that was fun. Like a root canal fun. Baz was less than enthused at the news. Not in a mean way, just not thrilled. Which I was 75% sure it had to do more with the baby part than it did that he was not the only guy I was sleeping with. It was also the moment when I saw his shiny knight armor dull in appearance. Which kinda hurt a little. Like I didn't matter to him as much as I thought or if I had, he was too pissed at me for screwing things up. But regardless of his tarnished appeal and the more than humiliating discussion, he impressed me with his willingness to do a paternity test. That was another self-degrading moment when both Baz and Tucker stood in the same room eyeballing each other in a agitating alpha male way while waiting for the lab tech. Yeah, that was fun. And it was even more fun when we were all told to wait a week on the results. The root canal would have been better.

Second, I set up a meeting with several board member from Savage Endeavors. The ones I knew who were eager to assist me since they had reached out to me once they learned of my interest in the company. Not like my dad was some evil dictator or anything, it's just they were open to less aggressive tactics. Several being women. Women like me looking to broaden the scope of the company and it's existing entities. Which I liked hearing their forward thinking ideas. It was encouraging to know that they were on board for a new and improved Savage Endeavors. Improvements I knew my dad was going to flip out over. But the very ones I knew would catapult the company beyond it's current image as a brutal take over business. But to my dad's longtime credit of being really good at that and for building his empire on that, my plan was to keep a group of investors on retainer to work along side some of our best execs for those situations. Because, in all honesty, my dad wasn't completely wrong for seeing the potential in some companies that were doing well but needed big corporations like us to help them make their mark. So in essence, my dad only meant to be a big brother to the fledgling little guys. And I couldn't exactly hate him for his talent to see profit. That's what paid for many employees salaries, and our comfortable life. I just only hoped that he'd see my side of things too.