Be My One Regret

be my 1 regret / 6

CHEATING ON YOUR BFF IS A BIG NO NO....

I stroll quietly alongside a female. And it's kinda surreal. Cleo's nothing like Tanner and yet she's almost exactly the same. I can't help the tiny smile on mouth as she can't help herself be bubbly and babble about everything and anything. The randomness somehow settles me, and I slowly start accepting this new direction with her and not be completely revolted by it. And by 'it', I mean this girly thing she had going on.  Her personality was annoying but cute, endearing, and somewhat simple. And refreshingly, there was no strings attached to it. She was just her being herself. And it was comfortable enough for me to be myself too. Like normal friends. Not that we were holding hands or anything, but it still felt nice.

The glorious sunshine pours out over the promenade boardwalk. The rays sizzling with radiant heat of temperatures that most loathe and hide from in their air conditioned homes or soak in cool pools until the sun sets. But not me. I'm one of the weird ones. I like it. I like the penetrating warmth. It's soothing and calming. An invigorating intensity that melts away your worst mood. Sweating out the crap of life and leaving a recharged happier version of me to take on any new crap. It's the simple things of living in one of the hottest southern states that I enjoyed. And probably only one of the few things since my list of favorite things was a short one. Let's just say being outside soaking up the incredible heat was in my top five after sleeping, Tanner, shoes and sex. It wasn't the best list but those basic necessities were mine. Each had their purpose in improving my self-loathing existence.

Like even now, as I take a deep breath of warm sunny air, I almost am totally and completely fine with sharing my day off with 'Cleo the overly excitable room mate'. The shopping, the lunch, the matinee, and her chattering in my ear non stop have been worth every precious second of the sun. Even after hours of just wandering, it still had been the perfect day despite the different gender in companionship. It was impressive even to myself that I had endured, and I was damn near proud of myself. I snicker silently at my accomplishment.

Gawd. If only Tanner could see me now. He'd probably give me shit for engaging in a 'girl day'. Shit. And then he'd probably hit on Cleo.

Right, but not probably, more like an  absolute given. 

My bubbly roomie was definitely right up there on his ever changing variety list of fan favorites. Gawd. Why did I pick her again? I'm just setting myself up for an awkward scolding to remind him to keep his hands to himself and his dick in his pants. 

Damn it. That's why I don't have 'girls' as friends. This very reason. Which begs the question....why again am I friends with Tanner?

Fuck me. That's a million dollar question that can only be best answered with it's my own stupid fault for being a sucker for him myself. No duh shit.

"Earth to Fi. Hello, Ophelia? You still in there?"

Cleo's henna detailed hand waves in front of my face blocking out the sunshine and disturbing the mellow mood flowing thru me. I scrunch my nose and blink at her. "Sorry. I was just relishing the serenity of the sun."

The annoyance that the beauty of her smiling face doesn't flinch at my comment regarding silence nicks another notch into my inner peace, but the deeper scrunch of my face doesn't rattle her even a little. She quickly shuffles her shopping bags to one hand and nudges my elbow.

"Do you mind if we stop at one other shop I know?"

My knee jerk reaction was to say 'hell no', but I'm still tripping on sunshine ecstasy so I merely hunch a shoulder. "Sure. Why not."