Letters With a Ghost

Chapter Four

Dear Ayden,

You might think I'm crazy, but I really want to run away from home. My mom only aspires to make my life a living hell and my sister thinks my pain is funny. I know she's only four, but she should at least try to understand. Now that you're gone, I guess understanding is a trait long forgotten in my life...

"Cammy! Dinner's ready!" a small voice called from outside her bedroom door.

"Thanks, Casey!" Camryn called back. "I'll be down in a second!"

Dinner time. This is always a treat. Stay tuned.

She pushed her notebook under her bed and went downstairs. Her mom and her little sister, Casey, sat at the table with a plate of burgers in the middle and two empty dinner plates.

Camryn sat down at one. "Where's dad?" she asked.

"Working, as usual," her mom responded with an irritated sigh.

Camryn nodded uneasily. That was a trending pattern with her dad recently; he spent more and more time at work (or at the bar, per Camryn's suspicions) and less and less time at home with his family.

"Anyway, you better eat," her mom chimed in. "You haven't been eating properly since Jayden died."

"His name is Ayden," Camryn corrected softly.

"Whatever. Same difference."

Her mom pushed away from the table, placing her dishes in the sink. "You're not to leave this table until you eat at least one burger. Understood?"

Camryn nodded sullenly.

"Then do the dishes. You've been slacking on you chores, I've noticed."

Camryn set her jaw in a hard line. She was not in the mood to be taking her mom's abuse. "Forgive me, your highness, for mourning the loss of the only person in this whole world who cared about me."

Her mom scoffed. "He didn't care about you, Camryn. Who do you think he was thinking about when he shoved those pills down his throat? You? Or him?"

Camryn's face burned with anger and sadness as the tears threatened to spill over her eyelids.

Her mom continued. "People die, Camryn," she hissed. "That's just a part of life. Sometimes the selfish ones, the cowards, make it end faster than it should. They have no regards for the pain they cause other people, for the burdens and the financial troubles. Your 'special' boy was just another one of those cowards. Just another one of those selfish people. He didn't care about you. He didn't care about his mother. He didn't care about anyone except for his own pain. It's time to face reality, Camryn. Get over it."

Camryn rose from the table clenching her hands into fists at her sides. "You don't know Ayden," she growled. "You don't know anything about him!" She knocked over a chair in her rampage. "I loved Ayden. He cared about me! He listened to me! Whereas you, you never gave a shit about me! Ayden understood what I was going through, he understood me!" She took a step toward her mom, who backed up two more. "Ayden killed himself because he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take the trouble at school, he couldn't take his abusive mother, anymore. So he ended it. And it's only a matter of time before you drive me to do the same exact thing."

With that, Camryn turned and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her. She could hear Casey crying downstairs. She felt bad about that, but she couldn't help but be defensive over stuff like that.

She sighed and sat down on her bed, taking the notebook out from underneath. For the 167th time since his death, she started to write to Ayden...

I told you dinner time is always awful.

I know you care about me, Ayden. You're the only one who ever did. The only one who ever will.

They say that everyone has a second half. A person to complete them, to make them feel whole. I found my second half three years ago, in that English classroom, fourth period. I remember seeing you for the first time, and thinking, "Yeah, he's kinda cute." Little did I know that you would become the only part of me that I liked. The only part of me that I cared about.

By now that part of me is gone.

What's left is a broken carcass. A piece of what I could be. A shell of what I was.

I'm beaten. Broken. Scarred. But I show no physical signs. Maybe it's because there's nothing physical left.

Just a spirit, caught in this world and held fast to the ground with chains.

I want to be free. I want to be with you again.

She's wrong, Ayden. You're not the coward.

I am.

--Camryn