"Are you sure this is going to work?"
Danielle's voice came to Camryn like a faded echo coming from the opposite end of a long tunnel. She stood behind the curtains of the school auditorium stage, her grip on the notebook in her hand so tight that her knuckles turned white. She felt a cold sweat break out on her forehead and her palms were sweaty. She hated crowds, and her time was almost up.
"Of course it will work," Jonathan offered in Camryn's silence. "This has been well thought-over. Besides, her writing in this one is pretty strong." He looked at Camryn, who managed to look back. "I read it myself not too long ago," he added softly.
On the other side of the curtain, there was a brief round of applause and the group of kids with the idea for a robotics club returned backstage, babbling excitedly.
"It looks like we had a last minute sign-up before the list was pulled this morning," Camryn heard the board director say.
Her heart stood still and her breath caught in her throat as she waited to be called out.
"There doesn't seem to be a last name..." The board director cleared his throat. "Please welcome, applicant Carton."
Jonathan and Danielle whispered "Good luck" in unison as Camryn stepped out onto the stage. Time stood still as she advanced to the podium, scanning the assembly of club sponsors and official-looking board members in front of her, with Mr. Waters sitting front and center, glaring.
Camryn placed her notebook on the podium and flipped open to a marked page.
"Good afternoon," she said into the microphone. "My name is Camryn Parker, and I am here on the behalf of Danielle Miller and Jonathan Jaxon, ex-members of a club that once belonged to this school, known as the Aspiring Writer's Club."
She looked at Mr. Waters. "For those who believe that I do not have a place in this activities fair, I have pulled my science grade up to a level that I think would prove to be quite satisfactory to you." In a moment of bravery, she added, "You never bothered to specify which, so I have as much of a right to be here as all of the other participants in this event."
She cleared her throat, feeling her fear evaporate. She then spoke the speech that she had rehearsed more times than even fathomable:
"I understand that this club is nothing new, and therefore doesn't exactly fit the description of the purpose of this activities fair. However, in an unfortunate turn of events, our club sponsor, Janice Carol, was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and was sent to an out of state treatment facility, leaving AWC without a sponsor.
"We fully understand that a club cannot be run by students, and that no sponsor means no club. My position is that a sponsor should be assigned by the school for our club, or an exception should be made to allow the members to run it ourselves.
"Perhaps it would seem unnecessary, being that AWC only had five members, now dwindled to three. Some may say that we should run it outside of school, and while that is a valid argument, one must consider the opposite side of the spectrum.
"This school has many clubs that diversify the student body based on student interests, whether that be science, sports, music, or math. While those areas are very well maintained and useful for the students with certain skill levels in those areas, there is no place for the students who prefer books and writing utensils to playing fields and instruments. If perhaps writing is not enough to base a single club on, it could be expanded to include all of literature, where writing aspects in addition to book discussions and interpretations could be offered.
"Allow me to take a moment to explain the name that I signed up under today: Carton. This is a reference to my favorite character, Sydney Carton, from my favorite novel, A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens. Mrs. Carol is the one who recommended this novel to me, as a matter of fact.
"A Tale of Two Cities is a classic novel originally published in 1859, taking place before and during the French Revolution, in London and Paris. The story follows a group of characters taking on the war first hand. It's a story of love, loss, and ultimately, tragedy.
"Sydney Carton appeals to me the most because he is illustrated as a drunk and an outcast, even quoted saying, 'I care for no man and no man cares for me.' Despite his rough exterior, however, he craves what every human does: Love and companionship, even though he himself says he is undeserving of such affection from another human being.
"The French Revolution was a bloody event. Anyone with any power or money was beheaded by the people of little or no means; the ones forced to suffer in dark streets and dismal conditions while the aristocrats cherished their wealth and lived in the light.
"A Tale of Two Cities makes light on how bad situations make people desperate, turn man into animal, until there is no one left to be trusted. That is an idea that I commonly incorporate in my writing, a piece of which I will read in order to conclude my presentation today. As I read, please consider the means of sharing such student writing, as well as classical literary works such as a A Tale of Two Cities."
Camryn looked down at her notebook. Again, fear wrapped his cold fingers around her throat, but she brushed it off as began to read, skipping the first two words:
Once upon a time, there existed a small town failure with a big city cover up. This is the story of the one who was never supposed to make it.
Maybe it hurts. Maybe it doesn't feel like anything at all. I wouldn't know. I'm already half gone. I'm already fading into the shadows that swallowed you whole, that left nothing behind but a bunch of blank notebooks and pens with invisible ink. There are words written, but they will never be deciphered in your wasted life or my dying one.
This is the twisted love story of the century. One that will be forgotten quickly but will be imprinted on the world as a whole, a faint whisper only seen if one holds up the backlight of their deepest, darkest emotions:
I will never forget you.
I will always love you.
I need to know why.
I will never know why.
Why you desired to leave...
Why you refused to stay...
Why my heart continues beating
With not a single hope
With not a single soul
Left to keep it going
Someone is going to pull my plug and do me a favor. Someone is going to make the call that I'm too afraid to make myself.
Blood is thicker than water.
I just hope that it trickles like a waterfall when the streets turn red before me, when I realize that what the world is is what it was never meant to be. I can hear you whispering:
"Quod vos estis, ego quondam fui; quod nunc sum, et vos eritis"
What you are, I once was; what I am, you will become
Like a curse, you add:
"Facium ut mei memineris"
I will make you remember me
But who says that's a bad thing?
YOU ARE READING
Letters With a Ghost
Teen FictionCamryn is a shy girl dealing with anxiety and depression. When she loses the only person who ever listened to her to suicide, she writes letters to him to cope with his death. With an unsupportive family and unstable emotions, it's a wonder if Camry...
