Letters With a Ghost

Chapter Sixteen

"Come on Cammy, wake up."

Camryn opened her eyes slowly. She would recognize that voice anywhere. As soon as her eyes were fully open, she knew what was going on.

A blonde haired blue eyed boy smiled down at her. She recognized him. She wished she didn't.

Ayden.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty," he said softly.

"You're dead." Camryn tried to sound harsh and cold, though it came out almost as a plea for help.

"That I am darling." He smiled. "You're dreaming again."

"I know." She cast her eyes down, squeezing them shut, willing the dream to end, begging herself to wake up. She couldn't take it. The thought that he was only a fragment of her imagination hurt worse than the fact that he was really gone. She wanted to wake up from this nightmare before she became too attached. Before she fell in love with her ghost all over again.

She wasn't that lucky. After a few seconds of keeping her closed eyes focused on the floor, she felt Ayden's arm wrap around her shoulder. She hated the fact that he felt real.

He pressed his lips close to her ear. "Look at me, sweetheart," he whispered.

Camryn shook her head. "I can't, Ayden." She was on the brink of tears. "I can't."

Ayden placed his other hand on her cheek and gently turned her head to face him. "Open your eyes," he urged carefully. "God, Camryn look at me, please!"

Camryn opened her eyes, feeling her heart sink as she took in all of the small details of his face. When the corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile, she threw herself into his arms.

He held her close, held her tight, running his fingertips over the bruises on her arms. "She hurt you," he murmured.

"Don't worry about that." Camryn pulled away. She clasped her arms close to her body.

"Well I am worried about it." Ayden's voice was harsh as she grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms out. "You can't let her walk all over you like that Cammy."

"She jumped me when I walked through the door!" Camryn protested. "What was I supposed to do, tell her no? She's a lunatic!"

"You're better than that Cammy."

"That's your favorite thing to say. I thought you were better than to kill yourself." She hissed the last part, regretting the words almost as soon as they passed through her lips.

Ayden's blue eyes focused on her. "You're not me," he said softly. "Dying isn't what you were destined to do."

"So it is what you were destined to do?" Camryn shot back. "That doesn't make any sense Ayden."

"Think about it," he said. "Imagine what my life would be like if I were still alive. Sure, I would be here, but I would be suicidal. I would be depressed. People would still screw with me all the time and make me absolutely hate myself. I may be dead, but I'm at peace. I know you love me Cammy, and trust me, I love you too, but would you really want to see me suffer? In my opinion, only having half of a person is worse than having none of them. That half is not who they are; it's the half consumed by the demons and the monsters that drive them to do horrible things like I did. I am by no means advocating suicide, but think about this: It happens for a reason. People live, people die. It's part of the circle of life, it's what makes us people. And yeah, the death part sucks, but there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it."

"I also never want to hear you blame yourself for what happened to me ever again. You didn't kill me. I killed me. So stop acting like you had anything to do with it, because of all people, you didn't drive me to the breaking point."

Camryn stayed quiet. What Ayden said made sense. She just wasn't ready to admit that.

"Say something," Ayden said after a long pause.

"I just can't stop thinking about The Last Day," Camryn admitted. "Maybe if I had admitted my feelings for you, you would have stayed." She turned her gaze to the floor. "Maybe if I kissed you back."

Ayden giggled softly. "I did what I did as a last act of bravery. I didn't want to die without having my first kiss, but at the same time, I didn't want to steal yours. So I didn't so fast you wouldn't have time to react. I didn't want you to kiss me back. I didn't want you to tell me that you loved me. Believe it or not, I already knew."

Camryn was left speechless once more. Again, Ayden's words made more sense than she cares to mention.

"I want to ask you one more thing, before you wake up," Ayden said.

Camryn looked at him, bracing herself for what was to come.

"Do you have a crush on my cousin?" he asked. There was a telltale smile on his face that suggested he wasn't upset or bothered by what the answer might be.

"No," Camryn answered honestly. "I can't. I don't know how to have crushes anymore. I will never love anyone, never commit myself to anyone ever again."

He smirked. "We'll see," he said playfully. "Now lay down. Your alarm clock will go off any minute now."

Camryn did as she was told. She didn't want her dream to end. She was all caught up now.

Ayden smiled and bent over her. He stopped centimeters above her lips. "I love you," he whispered.

She put her hand on the back of his head and pushed him down a very little to meet her. His kiss felt more real than she had hoped.

She sat up a little bit. He pulled away and opened his eyes, smiling at her.

"Don't forget to ask Alex," he whispered, pulling her into his chest.

Before his words could truly sink in, he had her head against his chest. She remembered finding comfort from the sound of his heartbeat. This time was different.

He didn't have a heartbeat.

When her alarm clock went off, Camryn picked it up and slammed it against the wall, watching it shatter. She picked up her notebook and scribbled in it quickly.

Dear Ayden,

GET

OUT

OF

MY

HEAD

--Camryn