Letters With a Ghost

Chapter Fourteen

Camryn woke up the next morning on the wet grass in front of Ayden's grave. Her bones ached from the dampness and the cold, and her notebook, which had been tucked under her arm the whole night, was soaked.

She heard a voice calling out to her. She propped herself up on her elbows and peered over the top of Ayden's headstone.

Jonathan stood below the iron archway at the entrance of the cemetery, bearing its name. He was scanning the rows of stones, looking for her. When he finally spotted her on the opposite end, he dashed over as fast as he could.

One look at her matted hair and muddied clothes, he knew that there was something seriously wrong. "Have you been out here all night?" he asked, worry prominent in his voice.

Camryn tried to speak, only to find that her voice cracked and faded off. She merely nodded instead.

Jonathan crouched down and helped her get into a more comfortable sitting position. He glanced over her shoulder to the name on the stone.

"Ayden Jaxon," he murmured. "He's the kid who killed himself a few months ago. Were you close to him?"

She nodded again.

"I had no idea you-" Jonathan was cut short by the sight of the notebook at Camryn's side. He noticed it as the same one she tried to say held her math notes.

He reached for it, but she grabbed his hand, shaking her head. The idea of someone reading the dark thoughts she had written to her dead friend frightened her.

"I just want to see," Jonathan said softly, gently pulling his hand out of her loose grip. He grabbed the notebook and opened it to a random page.

Camryn watched him carefully, looking for a change in expression. His face remained stoic from start to finish, but when he looked up, his eyes were glazed with moisture.

"You really loved him, didn't you?" he whispered gently.

Camryn nodded, turning around to look at the stone. "It's all my fault," she croaked. She felt her own tears coming, but did nothing to stop them.

Jonathan took both of her hands in his. "Look at me," he said.

Camryn adverted her gaze from the stone and looked into Jonathan's eyes. They were blue, like Ayden's.

"Camryn... You can't blame yourself for what happened to Ayden. I know it sucks, trust me I do, but he was too far gone for anyone's help. Ayden loved you. Do you know how many times he almost killed himself but didn't because of you? The thought of you alone saved his life many times, and if that doesn't make you his hero, then I don't know what else does. This last time he just had too much going on. He couldn't take it anymore. That's why he wanted to spend the whole night with you; he figured it would help you cope that you were the last person he thought about."

Camryn struggled to find the words to respond to what Jonathan just said. "How do you know that?" she managed.

Jonathan bit his lip. "I didn't want to tell you because I thought it would hurt too much."

"Tell me what?" Camryn urged, straining her already weak voice.

"I knew Ayden," he said quietly. "He was my cousin."

Again, Jonathan looked over her shoulder at the stone. "I'm telling you Camryn," he said. "That boy loved you more than anything. I miss him too."

When Camryn noticed the tears forming in his eyes, she crawled into his arms. They held onto each other, missing the same person with all their hearts.

Camryn thought he felt like Ayden.

Dear Ayden,

I have to hurry. Jonathan is waiting for me outside.

I just climbed in through the window of my room so I could change into some clean clothes. I refuse to face my mom until tonight.

I just want to tell you that I love you more than anything else in this world. I want to survive, and I want to carry on your memory.

I'll write more tonight. I love you so much. Please don't forget that.

Are you still listening?

--Camryn