Letters To The World--AS ABOVE SO BELOW

Throwback

This is in the girl's point of view.

"We're over. Period. End of story. Stay away from me. Forget me."

5 sentences. Those number of sentences are just enough for him to hurt me and crush me into tiny pieces. I can even remember that he had drained my doubts to zero when he told me 5 positive sentences before when we were still a couple. Those sentences he had told me, contain the reasons why he fell inlove with me. But now, these
sentences what he had told me, all are negative. Who wouldn't cry when you receive those words as if you're a poison to somebody, that needs to be avoided all throughout your life? Huh, who wouldn't cry? If you're a boy, and if you're in my shoes, what would you feel? Especially if you really love that girl, what would you feel? You would be hurt also right?

Sentences. Why not just words? Words are fewer. Words are just little, but once you combine them all, they will form sentences and paragraphs. 5 words are better...but then, without words, those sentences won't be born right? Silly me. Actions speak louder than words, but then why words hurted me first? Well, simply because, after words, his actions would follow. He will prove to me that what he had said will be all true, especially if it's all relating to him and me being distant with each other. He hates me, and i can never bring back his love. I can never bring back our past. All will just remain as memories. Memories that will make me cry, memories that will start the negtive side of me that once had disappeared, memories that will make me fail everytime i take a small step forward. When can i forget everything? Everytime i remember them, they all haunt me like i made the biggest mistake in my life, that i should never forgive myself. But then, i remember a friend once told me, they should never be forgotten. They should remain, so that it will serve as a lesson, and will guide you to the right path. The question is, am i going to the right path, when everytime those memories will be activated, i will be falling?

I hate fights. I hate separations. I hate wars. I hate all negativity. My parents had parted ways, that's why I was all alone. I couldn't choose between them, because I love them both. I don't want to be unfair, so I better live for myself. I have no siblings, for which makes me used to being alone. There's a saying that "No man is an island" right? I disagree, coz I'm alone right now, in a big island. My friends are long gone, coz of their busy schedules with their businesses. What can I do?

I accepted that challenge of being alone. Until he came. Until he showed me things that I had never seen. Until he made me aware of everything. Until he had made me think that I ain't alone. Until he changed my dark world into something illuminating.

I was so thankful of this. I thought everything that had happened was all a blessing in disguise. But then, it was all just a test for me. A test to see how strong i am. A test to see if i am intelligent. A test to see if im ready to go to the next stage of life. A test to see my own self.

Yes, i had failed. Yes, everything ends here, because I'm so fragile and weak. When can i get out of this dark tunnel and find the light? When can i get my pot of gold at the end of this long rainbow? When can i experience the sunny weather despite of this strong, long, hard rains?

He was once my world, but then that world shattered down, so what's the use? What's the use of standing here in this ground? What's the use of everything around me, if i can never survive on my own? What's the freakin' use?

Everything happens for a reason. That's what they always say. Yes, I had heard that a lot of times. But then, I hadn't discovered the reasons yet...and i never will, coz I ain't interested. My life is ruined. My story has ended that way.

There are problems that are meant to be left behind. Okay, they say that, every problem has a solution. But, solutions of certains problems are hard to attain, and if you think of the prons and cons, you would think that, it wouldn't gain a good benefit if you strive to solve the problem. It would all be useless, because there are some problems that are meant to stay as problems. They are meant to be ignored, because they made no significance in one's life. Well, that problem might made a significance on the other, but it would be useless, for it won't be valued by the other. It will just be disregarded, making your efforts wasted.

So, if everything was, is, and will be useless...why not...

"Whoa, whoa, stop! What do you think you're doing, huh?"

I looked at him with dis...

PS (AUG 16, 2018) I dont know about this..am i the one who typed this? I can faintly remember me typing this This was an old unfinished essay from my cellphone last 2016 and I uploaded it here for a back up hehehe. Tell me if you want more of these hehe thanksss

#oldself