fem.

rant

POV- Avery

I can't believe this. 

I can't believe this.

I feel horrible. This is my fault. 

I hardly even knew Xavier, I don't know what gave my brain the audacity to think he was a match for Andie. Why did I even say anything?

I feel betrayed. This isn't my fault. This is Xavier's fault.

I grab my phone and type in Xavier's number. When he doesn't pick up on the second ring, I hang up. I get in the car.

How dare you do this to my best friend, Xavier.

I feel violent.

In barely no time I'm at Xavier's apartment. In barely no time I'm at Xavier's front door.

I knock once, twice, three times.

I feel indescribable. 

Xavier opens the door.

"Avery? Hey there."

I look at him, unable to find the words I want to use.

"Where's Brett?" I ask in a monotone voice.

"Brett?" He plays innocent.

I can't take it.

"How dare you!" I come bursting through the door, into his kitchen.

"Brett! Where are you?" I yell out.

"Avery, Avery! Calm down!" Xavier tries to reason, "He's not even here."

I get in his face. 

"I hope you understand the pain you've caused Andie, Xavier. You're horrible. You're a monster."

"What do you mean?"

I want him dead. 

I've totally lost it.

I run to his fridge and it is, of course, packed with alcohol. I grab two bottles out and run into his bedroom, locking the door before he can catch up.

"Avery! What the fuc(k) are you doing?!" He screams at me.

I have no time to think. I smash the bottle against his bed post, pouring the rest over his sheets and blankets. My hands begin to bleed from the broken glass.

He pounds on the door. 

"Listen, Avery, tell him I'm sorry, okay?! Get out before I call the cops!"

Sorry isn't enough. Sorry isn't fuc(k)ing enough. I pull Aspen's lighter out of my pocket and press it against the bed post. Flames erupt. The creme colored walls begin to tint black and the heat collapses in on me. I run to the door, unlock it, and run out.

"AVERY, NO!" Xavier screams.

"Consider yourself lucky," I stand in his doorway, with my hand on the handle, "I could have killed you."

"I'm calling the cops!"

"So am I, Xavier! I found 4 bags in there. Unless you're using a LOT of flour to bake a cake in your drawer, I'm guessing I know what this powder is. So will the police. If you call, I call."

He takes a deep breath.

"Toss me my fire extinguisher and get out of my house."