Home is not a Place

7 • The Listener

FELIX

"Don't cry." Ajax warned. His small, innocent face was contorted into a frown, his hazel and green eyes glimmering with fear.

Tears streamed down my face, but I couldn't stop them. I tried my hardest to command myself to stop, but I was just so scared that it was my body's only mechanism.

Ajax knew that. He glanced up at the camera that was dangling from the corner of our bedroom. It was aimed right at us, and I could almost feel my dad's presence around us.

"You have to stop crying, or dad will come in here again." Ajax said softly, his sympathetic tone driving my heart into my stomach.

I was so ashamed. I shouldn't have been crying. Ajax had been through the same shit that I had, and he didn't break a stride. I needed to stop crying. I needed to, before...

"Felix!" Our old man barged into our bedroom with his voice booming loudly. He staggered when he spied us, his eyes barely able to concentrate on us. "Son, stop crying!"

I willed myself to stop, but ever since that morning when I saw seen dad's empty liquor bottles, the waterworks flowed. I couldn't contain my fear—I knew what happened when our father drank.

"Leave him alone." Ajax stood up and blocked me from dad's sight. He was always stronger than I was, always willing to risk himself than letting me take the fall.

I deserved to take the fall, though. I was a big baby.

"What'd you say, boy?" Our pops yelled, his mouth crooked and breath smelling like hard liquor.

I wiped the tears off my face, but more took their place. It was like a never ending battle I was facing as I tried my best to think of happy thoughts, to think of myself smiling. I tried to make my thoughts reality, but it was impossible.

Our father grabbed Ajax by the collar of his shirt. Our old man was a hulking six foot tall man with biceps as thick as our thighs. He was able to chuck Ajax across the room and against the wall, rendering him unconscious.

Ajax always received the worst type of punishment for speaking up. He'd wake up with broken ribs the next day.

As for me, I was expecting the worst. My dad came at me as I screamed and squirmed away. I was only nine, my heart ramming against my chest until it felt like it would break through. I put my arms up to shield my face, but within seconds I was dragged to my feet with an arm twisted behind me.

I cried out in agony as pain rippled down my arm, and I heard the awful crack of a breaking bone. My whole world tilted on its side, and the only things I could see past the blurry dots that filled my vision were my dad's steely hazel eyes and his cruel lips.

"You cry like a girl, Felix! You're such a disgrace." He always said mean things to me, no matter what I did, no matter what Ajax said. "I should give you up for adoption, you worthless, pitiful piece of shit."

He bent my arm farther back, making me collapse onto my knees because the pain was too much to bear. "Daddy, please stop! Please stop! It hurts!"

"You even whine like a girl." My dad chuckled, not giving my pleas a second thought.

"Stop hurting Felix!" My mom's scared voice bounced off the walls of the room as she stepped inside. Her small frame shook, her green eyes terrified. "He doesn't deserve this. He's just a kid."

My dad immediately let me go, shoving me aside like I was a piece of dirt. I crumbled to the floor, balling up like a baby. I rocked back and forth, gripping my arm that I couldn't even move anymore.