Home is not a Place

36• Empty Space

VANESSA

Because of his ear injury, Ethan can probably only hear bits and pieces of conversation. His focus is out the window. Pain is coursing through his head and ears, but through his blurred speech he claims he is getting better.

I give him some medicine and it knocks him out only a few minutes later. Maybe that'll give him some relief as his eardrums and brain try to recover.

I am not alone in the dreary bedroom. Amelia sits on the bed beside Ethan's bed, her legs crossed in front of her. Her hands rest on her knees, and she is humming something.

"Are you meditating?" I ask, curious.

She stops humming and frowns. "Not anymore."

"Do you do that a lot?" I query. "Does it help?"

"Yes and yes." She replies, a smile taking control of her lips. "It helps when I'm a little stressed. Helps me stop for a second and let my brain rest."

"I should try that." I reply truthfully; however, I don't really want to talk to her about meditation. There's something else that's been bothering me .

Tony taught me how to tell when someone is lying, and Amelia did. She lied when she was talking about her "friend" Livvy Elnora. I guess nobody else noticed her lie because they know her too well? I'm not sure.

"So, you don't have to, but I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about Livvy. Was she as cool as you?" I ask, hoping this request doesn't rub her in the wrong way.

Amelia's grin only widens, which sparks relief in me. "No, she was definitely cooler. She loved leather and rock music and dancing like nobody was watching."

A gentle smile takes over my facial features, and I smoothly slide onto the end of the bed, facing her. "She sounds wild."

"She was." Amelia nods, something flickering in her eyes. "You're spot on. She loved adrenaline rushes and sour candy and trying the impossible."

There's something in her voice now that had not been in it earlier when she was talking with the boys. Something, like love. Affection. Longing.

"After she died I had no one to talk to." Amelia tells me, her lip trembling.

"If you had someone to talk to, what would've you said?" I query.

"Well if it was someone close to me, I would've said that I'll never be happy again." She shakes her head.

Dagger to the heart. "She must've been really important."

"You have no idea." Amelia's voice trails off, just as a tears trickle from her blank eyes. "Don't tell anyone, but she was... she was... the love of my life."

"Like..." My words don't form.

"Yeah. She was my girlfriend." Amelia replies, her smile so lovely. Then, her adoring expression drops in an instant. "You're not weird about that stuff, are you?"

"No, no." I reassure her with a brilliant smile.

"Okay. Good." The grin returns. "I mean, my brother doesn't really care that I'm bi. I mean, I told him once that I liked girls. I think he thought I was joking, so..."

"You're easy to talk to." She abruptly changes the conversation as she shifts her weight. "You know that?" She gestures to her sleeping brother. "I can see why he likes you."

I blush, but fortunately she can't see it. She sniffles as I say, "Well, it's nice talking to you. If I'm honest, I don't have very many friends."

"Oh," Amelia acts like the whole world has been explained to her the way she says it. "Now, I get why you are hanging out with us. Nothing is holding you back, huh? No friends... No boyfriend..."