Home is not a Place

48• A Trap

VANESSA

I stare at myself in the fogged mirror, steam rolling off my body. My heart is just as hot, my head heavy.

There's a cloud in my head, and I wish I could soak in some sun to wash it away. There's no way to do that, though. There's just a chunk of my memory gone, and I wish so badly to bring it back.

And the feeling is familiar, like I've had pieces of me taken away before.

I bury my wet face in a towel. I wish I could remember.

Thousands of questions are tossed around in my head. Where is Ethan? What happened to him? To me? To my memory?

The last thing I remember is coming home with Ethan. I don't remember what we did after we walked through my door. Did we talk? Did he leave? Or did he stay?

Did we... fuck?

My heart divots.

If we did, I don't remember.

I dry myself off, the whole time muttering curse words. My stomach is uneasy, my nerves all screwed up. Whatever happened, it messed me up.

I tie my hair back in a loose bun and shove my clothes on. Drake doesn't understand that alone time does shit for me.

I barge out of the restroom, placing a fake smile on my face. "I'm ready to go."

"Oh, dear." My mom looks me up and down from our small kitchen area. "Are you sure you want to go out? You look awful."

"Thanks." I have to laugh, and my mom wipes her hands off before moving toward my closet.

She opens the doors and steps in, later coming out with my favorite black hoodie. On it in red writing are the words, "True courage is in facing danger when you are afraid." It's off of one of my favorite movies—The Wizard of Oz.

My mom brings it to me. "At least wear this, sweetie."

"Thank you, mom." I tell her as I take it and then bring her in for a warm hug.

"When will you be back?" She asks, her eyebrows perked. When I don't answer right away, she abruptly snaps. "Oh, let me get you some Ibuprofen."

She shuffles away, and I send Drake a look. He is awkwardly standing near the door, his arms resting on his hips. He tilts his head, as if to ask the question he's already asked--the question I wish so badly I could answer.

I keep my mouth shut and flash my mom a grin. "I'll be back as soon as possible. But, I get a feeling it might be a little while."

My mom nods. "Okay. I love you, dear."

"I love you, too." I reply, and then Drake and I exit into the hallway.

He asks his question immediately. "Do you remember anything?"

"No." I respond shortly. "What's going on?"

"Ethan has been kidnapped by a man named Nick Corwin. He is an old CIA agent who was kicked out because Ethan reported him for beating up Felix several years back." Drake informs me as we fly down the corridor. "The guy was an idiot and went after Ethan to kill him, but he failed and went to jail. In other words, the guy has a fury that could start storms."

My heart tears into pieces. "Okay." I let out a shaky breath. "Sounds like I will be working for a while, then."

"Yeah. The team is working on zeroing in on his location. We hope a video that bastard sent us will give us something." Drake tells me.