a life in words

10:58 pm

it's 10:58 pm,

and the rest of the world is crawling in bed,

with a good book, 

with a movie playing on the tv across the room, 

or maybe with someone they love, 

the world is getting ready to fall asleep,

sleep - you know, 

the moment of fresh air you get away from the actual world, 

to forget for a moment the things that keep your eyes glued to the ceiling above you,

but her 10:58 pm was quite different than that of the rest of world, 

her 10:58 included a cup of coffee, 

she was no longer afraid of the caffeine it held, 

it included one of her favorite records quietly spinning on the floor beside her, 

if it were up to her the volume would be all the way up, 

it included cozy pajama pants and her favorite fuzzy socks, 

she would soon leave them sprawled across the floor when the heat was too much, 

and her 10:58 pm would soon turn into 1:42 am in the blink of an eye, 

because the fear of the choices she made were overbearing, 

like they weighed too much on her shoulders,

but they were yesterdays choice and how could she change them now?

and on top of that the fear of the choices of tomorrow were even heavier, 

because that she can change, 

and what happens if yesterdays decision becomes tomorrows regret, 

or vice versa, 

but that doesn't make sense, 

but neither does her mind, 

at 1:42 am.