Elementals

Chapter 4

(Picture on the right: Senior Pool -->)
Earth: 3204 – Northern academy

Breeze:
“Junior Elemental Breeze, welcome to meditation.” I hear as I walk inside the Senior’s office, sort of. It’s a little big to be called an office, but there’s really no middle-word here. “Thanks?” I’m not sure that’s really the right reply. He’s reading through a file, most likely mine. “From what I read here, you’ve had quite some trouble controlling your emotions lately.” He says as I take a few more steps into the room. “Well, that’s not just lately, Senior.” I answer as I look around. “Is anyone else going to join us, Senior?” I ask before he turns towards me. “No, these first couple of sessions will just contain of you and me. Please, sit down.” He then says.

“Why?” I ask and sit down as he comes and sits down in front of me. “Many people fail to see that meditation can be somewhat brutal, depending on the emotions one has to deal with.” He starts. “You’re going to dig through your entire emotional register, your mind and your soul to learn who you are. You will also come face to face with the emotions that you connect to the element. Something tells me you’re not quite sure what that is…that’s how it controls you.” He goes on as I sit there sighing. That was pretty much spot on if I’m perfectly honest. “That’s quite direct, Senior.” I let out quietly as I feel a little vulnerable.

“I can sense that in the wind…” He lets out as I’m suddenly aware that my emotions have activated my element. I manage to stop it. “…that’s why it will just be you and me in the beginning. These sessions might prove to be tough on you even when you might not think it. You just saw how your element appeared without you being aware of it. That’s what I’m here to help you with. Emotions control you - ergo they control your element. I saw what you did to your brother Rain yesterday, I’ll say he deserved it, but he also knows how to get to you. You’re too easy to provoke.” He says. “I’ve experienced that, Senior.” I answer in deep breath.

“I am sure of that. I guess that also means you understand why I want you meditating more. The better contact you get with your own emotions, the better control will you get over your element. I’m sure you have quite a force in that air-element of yours, but you have to tame it first.” He says as he sits up a little closer. “Where do we start?” I then ask him a little insecure. He places his fingers on my temple. “We are going to enter your mind, Junior. We both are so that I can see what kind of emotions you’re struggling with. I’m just going to observe all of the thoughts you come up with, just close your eyes.” He says and after a while, I oblige.

I sense a pounding in my chest the minute I’ve closed my eyes. I wander off into the world of my own thoughts and let it be said: it’s quite a labyrinth. For some reason it’s hard to find out what I actually want: from my brother, from the training, from learning to control my element. I don’t know what I truly want. It turns me indecisive, insecure in so many ways, among other things, how I act. It seems to find its way to my element as we’re just getting further and further into the root of my problems: Rain.

We are the same flesh and blood and we come from the same place and the same family. However, since I came along to this Academy, he’s put a good distance between us, simply because he can. That’s where I feel betrayed, angry…but that’s also when I notice my indecisiveness and insecurity meddle. Not only do I lose control of the element, I lose control over myself. I have allowed myself to be affected by so many different angles and in the end, I’m letting the emotions get the better of me – get the better of the element which always sends me against the wall.

Suddenly I get the feeling that I’m smashing something against the wall. I open my eyes abruptly as I see my Senior is taking a deep breath as I look around. Well, for once I only smashed a chair against the wall, and not myself. No wonder I needed this session to myself, I think as I take to my head. “Well, it’s a good thing we had this session all to ourselves. I’m pretty sure if we had gone further inside your head you would’ve sent me against that wall.” He says as he takes up his smashed up chair. “Sorry about that…” I let out as I look over at it.