The Society of Gods Angels

Knowledge Doesnt Make You A Bad Person | 3

Jason

After showering, I head back to the boys sleeping cabin and throw on my shirt, ducking into my bed.

It's really cool to talk to Jocelyn, she's different, and that makes it interesting. Maybe the outsiders aren't too bad.

"Jay," my friend Leo whispers. His beds right next to mine, making it too easy for us to talk and stay up.

"What's up?" I whisper back.

He chuckles. "Are you talking to that girl Jocelyn?"

I grin. "Yeah, she's really nice."

"Do you want Father to match you guys?"

I nod even though he can't see it. "Yeah." Even though she's an outsider, I don't really care. She's here now, and that just means I could turn her to find the truth like we all have. God would appreciate that.

"Cool. I overheard what our job is tomorrow."

I sit up, interested in tomorrow's plans. "Yeah? What is it?"

"Father was talking to Danny, one of the new guards, and he said that we reached max capacity of Gods Angels. We have to put up a fence to keep anymore outsiders out."

My eyes find Leo's. "Really?"

"Yup, and that means no more people trying to escape. I think we managed to find everyone who is meant to be here. I think God will start terminating the outsiders."

Thinking about that now, I don't want God to kill off the outsiders. Jocelyn was an outsider, and here she is. She's great. Maybe she was meant to be here, I think that's why it's okay for the rest to be terminated.

I smile. "That's really good."

"Yeah, and now we can all live without fear of the outsiders invading. They won't be able to get passed the fence."

I shake my head, getting all the water out of it in little sprinkles. "Cool. I can't wait to start."

"Me neither Jay, goodnight brother."

"Goodnight."

He goes straight to bed, but I stay up, thinking about Jocelyn and what she might be doing. She's probably sleeping. What's she dreaming about?

Maybe God is telling her something in her dreams, something like 'you're meant to be here.' I hope so. I hope she doesn't have any nightmares, she seems too fragile for that.

•••

I haven't been able to sleep. Something is keeping me up. I silently get out of bed and open the creaky door of the cabin, walking onto the grass outside in my flip flops. The moon is full, and beautiful. It probably means something, but I'm not sure. I know there's guards outside, they roam around, but I know they don't go behind the cabins for whatever reason. Father doesn't let them.

I walk around the cabin and sit on the grass, staring up at the sky. Someone's footsteps sound on the crinkled grass and I glance to my left, watching as Jocelyn walks towards me. She's up?

She sits down next to me, really...really close to me, and smiles. "How come you're awake?"

I shrug. "Can't sleep."

She brings are knees to her chest and hugs them with her arms. "Me neither." Her voice is a soft whisper that fills my head. My heart starts beating faster and I don't understand it, but it feels somewhat nice, even though I'm nervous.

"You know what I heard?" I say, turning to her. My arm brushes against hers and it makes me jump, but I ignore it. "Tomorrow, us guys are going to build a fence around the land. We reached max capacity of Gods Angels."

She doesn't say anything for a while, but finally answers as she looks at me. "Do you think that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, why not? Now the outsiders won't be able to invade us. Why would that be bad?" I laugh lightly, confused as to why she would think that's a bad thing. This is great.

She mumbles something under her breath that I couldn't make out. "Nothing, Jason." She shakes her head.

"What? What's wrong?"

She presses her lips together and balls one of her hands into a fist. "Do you really think the outsiders or whatever couldn't take down a fucking fence?"

I want to tell her to watch her language, but she's angry, and I need to save her step by step. I can't rush her. "Not when it's protected by God."

She laughs with disgust. "This grass is protected by God, right?"

"Right." Finally, she's starting to get it.

"Watch this," she hisses. She grabs a handful of the grass and rips it right out of the ground. "So what makes you think they couldn't take a fucking sledge hammer to the fence and knock it down in one shot? Who the hell is going to invade anyway, Jason?"

I stare into her eyes, the icy, angry blue almost hypnotizing me. "I-I don't know, Jocelyn. I don't know. Father will tell us more tomorrow."

Her anger falls from her face, almost like she's given up on something. "Whatever." She's prettier when she's happy anyway. Don't think like that. Right, not until we're matched.

"I'm sorry."

She shakes her head and sighs. "It's okay, you didn't do anything."

We sit there for a while, not talking. After a while I hear small whimpers from her, her head down against her knees. People don't cry very often here, just when someone dies, but it's tears of joy. We know they're off to Heaven.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, moving closer to her.

She sniffs and rubs her eyes. "I don't want to be here. I don't know how to get you to understand that. You have to know what's really outside of this place to understand what the hell is wrong with this."

I'm supposed to slap her for saying something like that. That's what Father would have done, or any other man and woman here, but I don't. I don't like hitting girls. It feels wrong. They're much more fragile than us men. Father slapped me before and I started crying, so imagine her getting hit. I'd feel terrible.

Instead of slapping her, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and bring her closer to me. I've never had to comfort anyone, but this is what my moms friend did when my aunt died.

She seems to start feeling better, she's crying a lot less anyway. She leans her head against my shoulder and moves her hand on my knee. That sends a shiver down my entire body.

"If I don't understand what you're going through, then tell me what's on the outside that makes it so special."

She laughs solemnly and shakes her head. "Are you even allowed to know?"

"Father never told us, but I'm not sure."

She exhales and nods. "Well, knowledge doesn't make you a bad person, it's what you do with that knowledge that determines that. Even then...being bad is subjective."

She's smart. "Then tell me."

Her eyes gaze into mine, the blue accentuated by her tears. "Sure."