Live.

Despair

There comes a point
Where it becomes too much
When we get too tired to
fight anymore, so we give up.
That's when the real work begins.
To find hope where there seems to be absolutely none at all.

I know everything happens for a reason,
But I really wished what the reason was.

Hope.
Hoping to live another day.
Another hour.
Another moment.

Letting the moment go,
Because it was too good.
I know I will miss it.
Like fireworks.
Brings joy for a moment,
But darkness after another.

I met people.
I met strangers.
Somehow they meant a lot to me.
Maybe we had a connection?
But in a moment,
Fights.
They are gone.
And now, I can never unsee it,
Because they were a part of my life once.
But in my mind, an eternity.

Loss of hope.
Can I ever meet a stranger like that again?
Can I ever feel the difference?
I want change even though I hate it.
I want something new.
I hope for something new.
It will come with time.

But the more time it takes,
lesser becomes my faith in hope.
Greater the despair.

When time comes,
I know I will rush in.
I had been waiting.
Waiting for too long.

And finally,
I got what I hoped for.
Fuck despair.
I am free of doubt of ever being good enough.

I am attached.
Attached too damn easily.
I try to be nice.
People use me.
I try not to be a pushover.
But at the same time,
I am scared of losing people.

Maybe, it's time I think for myself.
Learn to let people leave.
Learn to let go.
Have hope for something better.
But not let despair take over.