Live.

Indecisive

Flip a coin,
Your life depends on it.
Let probability take over.

I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do that.

I want to flip myself,
My life depends on me.

I am my decisions.

Should I play more?
Or should I sleep?

Should I walk?
Or should I use my car?

Why did everything have to be?
Why does every other direction have a possibility?

I wish I could see through me.
Tell me who I am
And who I will be.
I dont know myself anymore.
If only making decisions were that easy.

My path's on fire,
Half of me burnt to ashes.
Did I put that flame myself?
Have I halved myself?

My passion is dry,
My effort's in water.

I'm overwhelmed by anxiety.
Frustration. Confusion.
What will happen if I do... this?.

The stars have aligned to see me shiver,
drenched in my own cold blood.
I don't know what I have done.
I don't know what I would do if I hadn't.

Why do I have to decide?
What defines a perfect decision?

Will regret fuck me up?

......

Pollute just to survive through Global warming?
Build skyscrapers just to get outsourced by over-population?
Colonize Mars Just to be killed by
Aliens?

More possibilities = Harder decisions.

Sucks doesn't it?

****

Sucks to be overwhelmed with life just to find out you need to improve your decisions even more.
Sucks when possibilities are infinite but you can only choose one.
Sucks when you can't decide things on which your life is depends.
Sucks when you are so good at something so you keep getting more choices to confuse you even more.

If only someone else decided for me.
If only I could see the future.
If only the breeze I felt never left.

****

Taking decisions is never easy. Enthusiasm, passion, rational thinking, panic and a lot more emotions can generate while making one.

But why?
Why make decisions at all and not do whatever you please?
Why not just avoid the situation?
I think it's a price you pay for having intelligence.
Imagine how one decision changes the course of an entire country.
Imagine how people hurt others over small misunderstandings.
Imagine how someone decides to drink and drive and kill someone unintentionally. But how great a loss it is to others, you might just never understand.

Who decided to have certain rules in the constitution? It's a system. No system is flawless. Are your decisions wrong?

Well, at the end nothing is perfect and so ain't decisions. You will encounter hardships. But maybe a bit less with good enough decisions.