It's All My Fault

Second Chances

When I got to Regina's place I quickly analyzed the neighborhood which she lived in, seems like therapists actually get paid a load of money by just listening to your problems and agreeing to what you say to make you feel as if they've "helped" in some way. Her house was like the typical suburban ones, the ones you see on TV wishing you'd lived there when you grow up, and all of the other houses were like that. I walked into the driveway and was suddenly jumped by barking, a brown yorkie suddenly ran towards me and began to lick my feet, I actually loved animals, I picked him up with a smile and made my way to the door which I unlocked. Just as I thought this house couldn't get any better, I was proved wrong.

As I made myself to the guest room, everything surrounding me felt so foreign, I wasn't used to a house like this. I walked the room that Regina allowed me to stay, and my jaw dropped. Why would a "guest" want this much luxury? The room wallpaper was mint green embroidered with a gold strip along the middle of the wall, which was matching the gold chandelier that hung from the roof, covered in glistering diamonds. The bed had almost eight pillows, no exaggeration; this was literally comfort at its best. I carefully put my bag on the bed, not wanting a crease on the sheets, and I sat on the edge. I felt so comfortable, completely in my zone, until my phone rang. It was Regina.

"Hey! Have you made yourself at home?" She cheerfully said.

"Yes! I absolutely love the room, I mean, I love all the rooms, and damn I love the house!" I replied.

"Haha, I'm glad you love it, I'm going to be home in ten"

"Okay, bye"

"Bye" I said, and before I could end the call before Regina, someone else was calling. I switched the calls and quickly answered.

"Hello?" I softly said, thinking maybe the person dialed the wrong number or something.

"Uh... Hi" A male voice replied, but this wasn't a stranger. I mean he was technically a stranger but I now considered him an enemy, Ryan.

I paused, before I could reply, thinking if I should hang up or not.

"I just called to check up on you... I noticed you had left" He said.

"Ok, bye" I stubbornly replied, about to hit the "end call" button.

"Jodie... I need to talk to you"

"Go fucking talk to Lola! You sick bastard!" I yelled.

"That's what I needed to talk to you about..."

I ended the call.

I can't believe he called me when I was finally happy, finally in my zone. I guess this "happiness" shit isn't for me after all. I don't want to talk to him; I don't even want to see him. I quietly rolled over and stared at the ceiling, hoping tears wouldn't come.

"I'm home!" A familiar voice said.

I wasn't going to move, I didn't feel like.

"Jodie?" Regina said, walking in the guest room, looking at me lying on the bed staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I didn't reply, I finally let the tears run down.

"Nothing good is happening to me Regina, I just want to disappear, I don't want to exist right now" I replied, choking on my words because of the lump that grew in my throat.

"Jodie, if you keep your thoughts in, things are going to get worse"

"But no one cares about my thoughts"

"I care... Jodie I know about what happened, your abuse" She started.

I paused. Not knowing if to feel as if a burden was lifted off of me, or if a new burden was placed on me.

"B-But you don't know that my dad killed my mother, or that he fought with me over my friend, Ryan" I replied.

"Tell me about Ryan" She said, seeming to care.

I don't know what exactly there is to say about Ryan, he isn't my friend anymore; I don't want to see him.

"There's nothing about him, we met him during my trip, and he's with another girl now" I clenched my jaw as I finished.

"He just called..." I continued.

"What did he say?" She asked

"That he needed to talk to me, but I don't want to see him, I don't have the strength to face him"

"What if it's good news, Jodie? You can't just leave him there, at least he tried talking to you again" She said.

"Think about it" She said before getting up to walk out of the room.

And she left the room.

I don't know what it was about what Regina said that made me think about talking to Ryan again, maybe she was right, what if it was good news? I just need to put my feelings aside and realize that Ryan isn't mine, I won't allow him to hurt me anymore. I messaged Ryan.

"Meet me at the park tomorrow, we need to talk" - Me