It's All My Fault

Blinded By Love

I woke up, this time Ryan wasn't lying next to me, I sort of got concerned. I slowly made my way out of the messy bed, fixing the big t shirt I had slept in, which was his. I roamed around the condo and I didn't see him anywhere, as I began to dial his number I heard the familiar ringtone coming from the bedroom. I walked back in and realized Ryan had left his phone by the dresser. I was puzzled; I didn't have any idea where he was. I crept back in the bed, not really sure of what I should do next. Then I stared at his champagne iPhone, which was probably the only way I could've found out where he was. I unlocked the phone, I was sort of guilty, invading his privacy or whatever, but I needed to check up on him.

As I looked at his home screen, he recieved a new message, without even thinking I opened it. Noticing that it was a whole conversation, her name was Lola. I scrolled up to where the chat had started which read:

"Ryan, I miss you." - Lola

"I miss you too, but I've met someone..." - Ryan

"You know that no one's better than me Ryan, you promised you'd stay" - Lola

"I know, but..." - Ryan

"But? You love me, you even said you'd never love someone as much as you loved me, how could you let a stranger come between us?" - Lola

"I do love you, and you have a point, I shouldn't have let her come between us" - Ryan

"I gtg, meet me by the café tomorrow morning? We need to talk" - Lola

"Sure" - Ryan

"Love you" - Lola

"Love you too" - Ryan

I didn't exactly know how to feel, I wasn't in ownership of Ryan. We aren't in a relationship, I shouldn't be angry. I shouldn't, but I am. For completely trusting this stranger, thinking that he'll be some-what good for me, thinking that he loves and understands me. I just wanted to slap him so fucking badly, and I wanted to slap myself for falling in love with this bastard, thinking we had something good. But I guess not, he's a complete bastard just like my dad. I obviously wasn't going to wait on him to get home, so I quickly got dressed and left. I once again have nowhere to go, but at least wherever I was going didn't bring any pain.

I don't know why I came here of all places, but this is the only person who cares or who could help me right now, Regina Atwell.

"Oh, what a surprise-"She started. I didn't let her finish her sentence.

"Don't bullshit me, Regina, I only came here because I have nowhere else to go" I said stubbornly.

"Aren't your parents back at the hotel?" She asked.

I became even angrier.

"My mom died, and my dad is in the hospital" I said.

"I'm sorry.. Tell you what, you don't have to have a session today seeing that you're so confused right now, take a cab and head on to my place, you could stay there and we can talk then" She said, with a serious face this time.

"Okay" I got up, beginning to head to the door.

I got in the cab, and gave the driver the directions. I'm confused as ever, I don't know why I'm losing everyone who loved me, or who I thought loved me. I finally understand that stupid quote "Love blinds us all."