Salvation [manxman]

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I wanted to try again on the next day because I knew I was just going to come up with reasons why I shouldn't trust Thanatos. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could get back to being normal. I wasn't going to be reminded of Kurt every time I looked in the mirror and maybe I'd be able to forget about him completely. I could move on with my life and get back to a semi clean state so I was suitable to be with someone.

I prepared breakfast, watched them eat nervously, fiddling with my own food and almost choking on my yogurt with honey and almonds. I needed to find a moment to approach Thanatos where he was on his own and no one else could spy on us before I changed my mind again. But his damn boyfriend was always at his side, taking up most of his time. It didn't seem like he planned on leaving anytime soon either. Didn't he have to go to the toilet or something?

Erebus left to after a while but the other two just kept sitting at the table, talking about something way too sciency for my dumb brain while I did the dishes and kept shooting glances Thanatos. He seemed to notice since they stopped soon after and his boyfriend left the room but not before kissing him until they were breathless. I didn't understand and I'd never want someone to make me feel like this. I hated the feeling of being choked and not getting enough air.

"You want to try again." He smirked as he came over. "Same setting? Right now?"

I nodded and lead him to my room again, fidgeting around nervously. It creeped me out how observant he was and that he managed to read into me as if it was nothing. I didn't like the idea of someone else being able to know what was going on inside of me and to use that to their advantage. I prefered to have the control over the situation by trying not to display my emotions on my face for everyone to see.

"Relax." He said as he sat down next to me. "I don't need to have take another look. I'd tell you to take your clothes off so I'm capable of seeing what's going on but given the circumstances, keep them."

How did he know? Who else knew? I tried not to hyperventilate but it was getting increasingly harder, knowing that I might be giving it away to everyone. Erebus knew and he already looked at me differently and kept walking on eggshells around me. Did Nolan and Mateo know? I never told them and I'd prefer if they didn't know. I didn't want to see the pitty and disgust in their eyes, I wanted them to continue just like we were.

"How do you know?" I asked concerned.

"If you were scared of me hurting you, you'd snapped earlier." He shrugged as if this was obvious. "You only seemed to have a problem when I tried to get in between your legs. Figured they did the same thing to you as they did to the others in those cells."

"Okay." I mumbled, still unsure of the situation.

"Want me to try or do you need some more time?" Thanatos asked, cocking his head to the side.

He was weird. He was rude, he didn't care what people thought of him and he managed to piss everyone within seconds of entering the room and yet he was oddly considerate and nothing like any other god or goddess I had ever met. He just had a strange way of being nice by being an asshole. I was unsure if he was doing it on purpose or if he just didn't know any better.

"Thanks." I said quietly.

"I haven't even started." He huffed.

"But you were nice to me from the moment we met." I reminded him. "Remember the juice you gave me?"

"Yes." He sounded hollow for a second. "I knew you'd make it."

I didn't say anything and he just started to work. I could feel the magic but instead of just flowing through me and doing everything at once, he seemed to have more control over it and directed it to certain places, getting it to do what exactly he wanted. He looked very concentrated and I could see the sweat glisten on his forehead but he didn't take a break and just kept on going. I was laying there for what felt like hours before his boyfriend interrupted us and brought us lunch so we could take a break.