Collaboration || Dan Smith

Fity-Seven.

   "What if she fucking does it?!" Dan almost screams in anger while I'm literally going down the fast lane on the motorway. Never have I ever been on the fast lane before and this feels weird. My eyes are fixed to the dark road. There's nothing but dim golden street lights and glowing cats eyes.

   "You've told me almost everything about Maisie and even I know a girl like her needs attention. She just lost her daughter and-" I fucked up. I said 'her' daughter and not 'your' daughter. "Do you see me fucking trying to kill myself?" Dan almost whispers in response.

   Oh god...that wasn't what...I fucking hate myself.

   "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, oh god." I whisper trying not to cry - or look at Dan. It's really hard concentrating on the road. "No. Sorry that was...yeah. Sorry, babe." I feel Dan supportively hold my knee.

~ + ~ + ~ + ~

   Both me and Dan get out of the car. However, we're parked opposite this guy holding a motorcycle helmet. He seems to know Dan...no way can this guy be Ali. He looks only a couple of years older than Dan.

   Dan said that Maisie's dead brother - or whoever - said that he though Ali was their dad. That is impossible.

   But then again...crazy Americans.

   Who knows. Maybe they're like our council estate lot that go at it from the age of eleven? Beautiful people they are. But this guy is mildly cute. Like...from what I can see in this pale moonlight.

   "I haven't seen her!" The guy shouts as Dan sort of pushes me behind him protectively. I mean...Dan's lost even more weight since Bee's funeral - I probably have a better chance of fighting this guy off than Dan himself. But it's the thought that counts. "Have you been on the pier?" Of course the guy chuckles.

   "It isn't open for the public!" If Maisie is that suicidal she would've fucking sneaked through anyway. "Fuck it!" Dan shouts as he literally marches right up to the closed pier. "Dan!" I shout as I bursts into a slight jog to keep up with him. Dan takes my hand as we somehow manage to climb over the firm metal metal bars. Of course the pier goes on for a mile or maybe two so we can't see into the distance.

   "This is fucking illegal!" Ali shouts while Dan and me burst into a run. I think we only burst into a run at the same time because we see someone literally sitting on the wooden railing underneath one of the few good lampposts.

   The lonely mysterious figure is definitely a girl.

   "Maisie!" Dan screams as I run after him. The person looks at Dan as soon as he calls. From what I can tell...she responds to Dan calling her name. Not unless if it's another unhappy soul waiting for their friends or family to show up. Either way I'm not leaving this pier until they...reconsider life.

   "No! Maze!" Dan shouts as he frantically runs ahead, even Ali fucking overtakes me. Both are sprinting like Usain Bolt in the olympics! I of course hang back, even when they stop running.

"What are you doing Maze!" Ali shouts as I walk behind Dan. "Leave me alone." She whispers. Or at least that's what I think she said. "No I fucking won't." He replies back sounding immature. That's not the way to speak to someone fragile. He's only going to make her feel more shit than ever. "Then do something useful and push me." She sobs as I creep behind Dan. I put my hand on his back, of course he turns around slightly startled but I shake my head.

Neither of us realise Maisie is looking at us until we turn our heads her way...I've fucked up yet again!

"I'm not going to do that Maze." Ali softly whispers. Maisie doesn't look at him - in fact she looks at me with tears in her eyes. It's like I'm the distraction.

God. I cannot imagine how awful and patronising this must seem. I hope she knows that we're doing this because we care about her - even I do. I need to say sorry to her. I fell in love with her boyfriend...her babies father. That is just low...sickening even. I need to tell her my deepest of apologises. It's something that has to be done or otherwise I will loose my mind.

I need her blessing. As long as they're both happy...even I want them to get back together. I know it'll sting like a bitch - but I deserve it. I deserve everything and I don't mean to sound or come across as a victim because I'm not. I'm...low. A lowlife. I always have been and I probably always will. I can never change and I hate that fact.

"Why not?" Maisie cries. Ali takes a step forward, but unlike the movies she doesn't hesitate or lean closer to the edge. She remains perfectly still. I think that worries me even more. She can push herself forward at anytime with no hints.

"You're my little girl...Maze. I love you too much." Well fuck me her druggie brother was right. I guess hearing that her older brother is actually her dad...doesn't seem to bother her. Instead she shakes her head. "You're a awful father." She whispers staring down into the darkness below her.

"Isabelle wouldn't want you to do this." Dan whispers under his breath.

Maisie turns her head towards Dan. "She needs one of us wherever she is. Give me another good reason not to. I've lost everyone I've ever cared about." Ali is distraught. He has too look away. At the corner of my eye I'm pretty sure I see him wiping away few tears.

Christ this is sad.

Dan doesn't say anything. He knows that hell is a place on Earth. I can't stand this. "I'm sorry...Maisie." I nervously whisper as I walk in front of Dan slowly. Maisie looks at me confused - but full of hate. She doesn't know who I am...but she has a good guess by the looks of it. "I'm...Lana." I then look at Dan.

"I'm the one Dan...has been seeing." Maisie has tears coming out both of her eyes. She tries to hold them back but her body physically shakes. "I'm so sorry about your daughter. I know you're hurting. I know you're in pain and you feel like no one understands you." God...I'm going to regret this.

   "Lana..." Dan confusedly says my name as I ignore him. "I know because I've been there. But look at me Maisie..." my voice trembles as I myself try not to cry. Maisie then looks at me. "At least you saw your little girl. At least you felt those kicks...at least you had that bump. You're lucky that you got to be a mother...even for a couple of seconds." That's when I cry. I cry because I remember wanting to die. Unlike Maisie I'm too much of a pansy to even dangle my legs over the edge.

   She's brave.

   "What happened?" Maisie whispers. I feel Dan looking at me - but I ignore him. "I had a miscarriage less than twelve hours before I found out. It's father....was the cause." That's when I feel Dan's hand pressed against my back.

   "I'm sorry." Maisie whispers as I shake my head.

   "Our kids are in a better place. Safe and warm forever and ever. Probably looking at us right now on a TV screen or whatever. I guess my kid would judge me like hell." I crack a smile.

   I guess that's why I hate kids. I don't know.

   "You are a great mother Maisie. Way better than I would ever be...I know now is the time to not say this but I also know that you have life...so much life and maybe one day Bee will have other siblings?" Maisie nods her head as I walk towards her.

   "C-can...I hug you?" It sounds weird but if I hug her then I can pull her to safety. Maisie bursts out crying as I quickly hug her. As I do Dan and Ali help her over the edge so she is safe on the rackety old wooden pier.

   "It's okay." I whisper as she hugs me tightly. "It's gonna be all okay..."