Dan's new collaboration features someone very special...
That someone special is Maisie, an alternative pop singer who also happens to be his girlfriend. But stardom gets in the way of their flashing lights relationship
I scroll up and down on my phone looking at funny thing that have been recommended to me. I've been doing this for the past hour considering that I have literally nothing to do at my office. But I need that extra cash to buy Dan his big Christmas present. I'm literally saving up for a new keyboard. His been eyeing this thing up since we got together and I though, only because of the horrid year he has maybe Dan would appreciate it? I hope he will anyway.
That's when I see it. The perfect video to tag Dan into. I don't think while typing his username. I just see the first ten seconds and it just perfectly describes what it's like to sleep next to Dan. He moves so much in his sleep - he even kicked me out of bed without knowing.
How I really can't wait until we move in with each other...I'm going to become a insomniac. How the fuck could Maisie sleep next to Dan while being heavily pregnant? Like...did he not push her out of bed? Did her crush her stomach because Dan uses me as a fucking pillow?
Dan doesn't reply immediately to my Instagram tag so that's when my impatient arse decides to create a post. He better respond to this. I mean it's only a basic selfie...but...I like it. Maybe if I make it my new profile picture Dan is forced to like it? I don't care if he is in the studio or whatever. This is funny as fuck and maybe will make him see a sleep doctor or something. He is thirty three and sleeps like he is a baby. Unbelievable.
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It isn't until about thirty seconds later my phone then continuously vibrate. All I have to do is look on my recents on my notes and I see...that I might've accidentally made our relationship public. This is the most silliest thing that I have ever done and the regret is real.
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Oh god. Kyle too...
I hate Dan's fans so much. Oh my god just end my life right now. They must be stalking every time Dan gets tagged in something. The worst thing is probably that Dan hasn't even seen this. I mean if Kyle has then Dan has...probably?
Of course my phone starts running. Embarrassingly I pick up. "H-hello?" I stutter as I literally hear Dan laugh. Of course that's a relief that he is probably taking this like a pinch of salt - but for me this feels...low. I wanted to announce our undying love in a nice way...not a selfie of me asking Dan to see the Ladbible shit that I've tagged him in.
"Fuck off did you just send that you my public account!" Daniel Smith has twenty fucking accounts. It's not my fault that when I type an '@' sign his public account gets recommended first. He is the mysterious fucker with twenty identities.
"Well you're going to look even more like a prick if you don't reply." The video is really funny. "You tagged me in the same video last week babe." What the? "No I didn't?" I laugh as one of my work colleagues knocks on the glass window of my office holding her phone up against it. Of course my Instagram is on the screen. I smile shrugging back my shoulders, luckily for me I don't have to talk to the two faces cow, since she then quickly uses the copier.
"Is it the one of the bunny kicking the French bulldog in the face while it's sleeping? And the French bulldog rolls off of the bed and onto the floor and it stays on the floor - on it's back - looking really fucking done with life?" Okay...so I have a shit memory. "Yeah! That one!" I hysterically laugh into the phone.
"You're actually really fucking weird. I need to get you to a hospital and have you evaluated or something." That is probably the most offensive thing Dan has ever said to me. "Then you better reply saying that you love me or something sweet. I'll give you fifty quid." Dan only does stuff when I bribe him. My boyfriend is an actual child. "You better not be shitting me." We both bribe each other - other couples find it weird...but at the end of the day because of the money we bribe each other with...and how often...we neither gain or loose any money.
"I have a beautiful red note with your name on it." That's when with one hand I dig through my purse and pull out the note. "Alright then. But I'm mentioning you bribed me." I roll my eyes back. "Fine." There goes my dream 'love' announcement.
Dan puts the phone down and seconds later I get the Twitter notification...
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And of course I just have to reply to my darling boyfriend.
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