Saving Amaya

Chapter 19

I walk back to my house alone. I left before Blake or any of his family could say anything else to me. The unshed tears in my eyes weigh heavily on me, more than they possibly could in reality.

Helen of Troy was so beautiful that a war was started because of her. I, on the other hand, am so ugly that I tore a family apart. Did Helen feel this way as she watched the world crumble because of her? Did she pray that she was uglier the way I have prayed to be prettier? Did she curse God for making her as he did? Could she not stand the sight of her reflection, only seeing the destruction her beauty caused?

Blake's dad threw him out of the house because he was hanging out with me. Certainly this will be reason enough for Blake to leave me. I wish I could say that I won't miss him, but that would be a lie. I'm going to miss Blake.

I decide to get a head start on collecting Blake's things so he can move back home when he inevitably tells me that we can't hang out anymore. It wasn't until this very second that I realized just how much Blake had settled into my home. In my living room he had his video games, book bag, sweatshirt, phone charger, and more. I can't even imagine how much he has settled into the guest room.

"What are you doing?" Blake's voice interrupts me as I continue to collect his belongings. I didn't even hear him come in.

"Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have touched your things without asking. I just wanted to help you get all your stuff."

He furrows his brows and walks up to me. "Princess, why would I need to get my stuff?" Blake's wide hand touches my arm lightly, igniting my skin.

"Well I just figured since your dad threatened to fucking disown you if you kept hanging out with me." I pull away from Blake's touch, the way he makes me feel is too confusing right now.

Blake looked almost confused for a second, but he quickly recovered. "Amaya, nothing will make me stop being friends with you."

My throat clenches and my eyes burn as if I will start crying. So many times I've been told that I'm too much to handle. I'm too big of a burden. I'm not worth the trouble. But Blake would rather get thrown out of his house than leave me.

He thinks I'm worth it.

"Really?" My voice cracks, more pressure builds behind my eyes.

"Woah! Why are you crying?" Blake closes the space between us and gently gains hold of my cheeks. He wipes away the stray tears that have fallen with concern heavy in his gaze. "What did I do?"

I laugh through a small sob and shake my head. "You need to stop. Stop being so nice and doing all the right things. Please, I can't take it."

I can't meet his eyes. It's all too much right now and I'm so scared that what I'm feeling right now isn't the type of thing I should be feeling for my friend. My heart is racing and all I can focus on is the feeling of Blake's hands on my skin. His warmth seeps into my body and eases the ache in my chest.

And the way he looks at me. God, the way he looks at me. Blake's warm, brown eyes are wide with alert as he scans my face. The wrinkle between his eyebrows is deep like he is concerned for my well being. There's this intensity to his eyes. It makes my stomach flip and my heart flutter. It looks like he cares. Like he cares a lot.

And that is terrifying.

"Please, just be a dick. Ignore me. Leave me." More silent tears fall down my cheeks, alarming Blake even more.

"Amaya, what are you talking about?" One of his hands falls to my waist and holds me close. "I will never leave you."

"Why? Why are you so determined to be with me? Just leave! Please! Just leave!" My breath comes out rapidly as my words tumble out of me. I don't want him to leave, but he can't stay. I can't drag him down with me.