Nothing like starting over (Hunter hayes fan fiction)

Chapter 6/smoke and stress

HUNTER'S POV

I went home slamming the door after I entered. I threw my stuff down and instinctively went to the kitchen making a drink. I paused and looked at what I was doing. I was upset and automatically went to alcohol to solve my problems. It made me angry that I couldn't control myself. In a fit I threw the bottle down to the ground. It shattered everywhere cutting my arm. I wrapped my arm up and sat down trying to get control over my emotions but it was hard. So many times I just wanted to quit and give up. I was done feeling the way that did,sad all the time everyday and angry over the smallest thing. I checked my arm and it wasn't that bad. I didn't need to go to the hospital or anything but it was a pretty good cut. I cleaned everything up and got a beer out of my fridge. I laid down on the couch and just breathed.
"My life is over" I whispered to myself. "I've got nothing left. No music. No friends. No fans. And I'm sure when I get dropped my family will be disappointed" I thought. I have always denied my parents calls. I was way too embarrassed and ashamed to talk to them. Betsy told them about my accident but I couldn't bring myself to talk to them. I knew it hurt them especially my mom. Which made me even more depressed.I finished my beer and went to sleep even though it was only around noon. I woke up around five in the evening. I checked my phone and I only had missed calls and texts from sam,but I already knew that because they were from earlier.i looked outside at the city. I felt so cut off from all of it and everyone in it. I sighed and buried my face in my hands. I just want to feel different. Just for a moment I would like to not be sad. I want to feel happy even if it's for a moment. I was out of cigarettes and I busted my bottle of jack and beer didn't cut it. I would have to go down to the liquor store to get more alcohol and cigarettes but I didn't want people asking me questions or seeing me. Then I thought of something. I took my phone out and called David. A few hours later I met David downstairs outside of my apartment

"Hey dude. What's this all about ?" he asked quietly

"I need you to go down the street and get me stuff" I told him

"Why ? and hey look I'm sorry I shouldn't have given you those pills but I did tell you to take it easy." He said

"I shouldn't be seen buying cigarettes and alcohol. Plus I feel like shit. And it's not your fault. I took them all on purpose" I said sighing.

"You did.? Holy fuck you did try and kill yourself !" he said louder

"Shhhh ! can you do that for me,just a pack of cigarettes and another bottle. I just need to feel something other than sad." I sighed again.

"Yeah man I will go get it for you. But you know alcohol and cigarettes aren't the best thing you could do if your trying to feel happy" he shook his head

"What do you mean ?" I asked curiously

"Here. Give me the money I'll go get your stuff and I'll meet you up in your apartment in 30 minutes ok ?" he said starting to walk away.

"Ok" I answered walking back up to my building.

I waited for David to come back with everything. He brought back everything I asked him for and then he handed me a bag.

"What is it ?" I shook the bag

"Well it's not pills" he laughed. It made me laugh a little to

"What's in it ?" I asked again

"Hunter you could never be a gang member" he laughed

"Why ? what's inside ?" I made a face at him

"It's weed dude.trust me. If you want to feel happy this will do it. And it's completely harmless. You can have as much as you want and you can't OD. And it's not bad for you like the cigarettes and alcohol. Just do not and hunter I'm fucking serious DO NOT GET CAUGHT WITH IT. And try not to smoke it in public." He grinned at me

"So it's harmless ? I've heard that it doesn't hurt you and that it's actually good for some people but your sure if can't hurt me ?" I asked

"Yes look it up. I don't know why I just didn't give this to you in the first place." He gestured his hand at the bag.

"So we smoke it ?" I asked looking up at him

"Well duh stupid ! hunter your clueless" he said laughing

"I know you smoke it ! I meant out of what ? usually people use pipes and things" I laughed a little back at David.

"Here I'll show you how to roll joints. That way you can smoke it like a cigarette since your used to that." He said taking the bag and emptying it.

He showed me how to roll everything up and make sure it didn't fall out which was harder than he made it look. I was a little nervous about trying it but I was willing to do anything at this point.

"Alright you ready ?" he smiled

"Yeah."i took a puff from it and many more. It took a minute but after a whole I really started to feel it. I felt weightless. I felt like nothing could hurt me. I felt happy. Everything was funny and I was laughing and having fun with David. I couldn't believe how much better this made me feel. Way better than cigarettes and alcohol ever did.

~ Friday afternoon ~

I spent all week in my apartment. David gave me more drugs to last for a little while. Nobody had tried to call or text me all wrk since I blew up ok everyone at the studio. The only call I had gotten was from Betsy and it was yesterday. I guess I got what I wanted. They weren't going to wast their time on me anymore. I didn't want to get a scolding from Betsy so I ignored her call. She left a voice mail but I didn't listen to it yet. I wasn't in the mood. I just laid around all day. I had been high since Tuesday when David smoked with me. I got used to smoking it and it did numb the pain from everything. I lit up another joint and let it all sink it. After a few hours went by and I was feeling a little better,I thought about the voice mail that was left to me. I knew she was going to be yelling at me but I listened to it anyway.

Betsy- hunter we've given you all week to try and relax. It's Friday and we don't have anything written or recorded. If you want to give up then so be it but I have someone willing to come in and help you write. They don't have to write a song for you. You can call all the shots but they will help with ideas. I'm advising you to please come in to the studio. We will be there until seven tonight. Hopefully you will stop by and give it one more try I know that you could do it"

I sighed and thought about what she said. I really didn't want to work with someone else but at this point I didn't have a choice. It was either give up and become an absolute burn out and lose my friends and family and music or go down there and try one more time. I changed into clean clothes and headed out to my car.