Nothing like starting over (Hunter hayes fan fiction)

Chapter 2/David and the pills

I woke up really late that night with a horrible headache. I drank way to fast. I felt like I was going to be sick so I went to the bathroom. Of course my phone rang,it was Betsy again. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to talk about how much of a failure I was. I couldn't even get people to listen to my music anymore they were all to obsessed with the bigger names in country. I let it ring and ring and it finally stopped. I cleaned myself up as best I could and laid down,This is basically what I did now. Wake up late. Eat,drink,vomit,shower and go back to bed. I was a pathetic mess. And I didn't really care. The one thing I love doing most in the world is ruined. People didn't like me or my music anymore. It sucked. I got a text from my friend asking if I was awake. Well he really wasn't my friend,but his name was David,I met him when I went out drinking once. I didn't have friends anymore. Only acquaintances that I met randomly. He asked if I was still having trouble sleeping which I was. He told me that he had something that would help and at this point I was willing to try anything. I threw on a jacket and went to meet him downstairs. He said he would drop it off.

"Hey hunter over here" he said

I looked up and followed him to a bench. And he pulled out a bottle and handed it to me.

"What is it ?" I asked shaking the bottle

"It's trazodone, they're an antidepressant pill that helps you sleep. Just don't take to many at one time,they're easy to OD on and they can get addicting." He said

"Are you sure they're safe ?" I asked worried

"Positive,doctors prescribe them all the time. But don't tell anyone you have em,or they'll ask where you got em,only people with serious problems get those,they're strong pills" he pointed to the bottle.

"Where did you get them ?" I suspiciously asked

"My roommate has had a prescription for a while and he only takes them a couple times a week,he sells the rest,but don't say anything,i can get arrested." He gave me a serious face.

"I won't. If they will really help me sleep and feel better, I'll take them. Thanks" I smiled.
I knew it was wrong and dangerous to be taking pills I didn't need but I needed to get away some how. I couldn't sleep, I could barley eat and they could even help make me happy. I just have to be carful as to how many I take at a time.

"Cool,these ones are on me." He smiled

"You sure ?" I looked at the bottle and then back at him.

"Yeah it's cool,hey you want one ?" he asked pulling out a cigarette

"Um I haven't smoked before" I said slightly embarrassed

"Really ? you drink ? But never smoked ? Huh, here. They will calm you down to" he handed me his cigarette while he lit up another one.

"Thanks David." I inhaled the tobacco and surprisingly enough David was right. It did relax me a little.

"Well I gotta go. Take it easy on those pills alright ?"

"Alright,see ya" I waved and went back to my apartment.

I sat the bottle down on the table and stared at it. I guess this is what I do now. Buy pills from people to help me cope. Drink excessively and smoke. It doesn't matter anymore though. These pills really could help me. Maybe they are just what I need. I grabbed the bottle and dumped one pill into my palm. I popped it into my mouth and swallowed. I shook my head knowing what I had just done. Upset with my self I changed and went to bed,praying the this pill would do the trick. Luckily it did. Seconds after my head hit the pillow I was fast asleep. I slept really good for the first time in months. I woke up feeling a tiny bit better then my usual crappy mood. I had a missed call from Sam. I haven't talked to him in months. I couldn't imagine why he would call me. he didn't leave a voicemail so I didn't know what he wanted I was amusing it was about work. I missed the guys but it was all so strange now. It felt like years since I had seen any of them. Thinking back on all the shows and time we spent together made me even more sad. I stared at my phone debating on weather to call him back. I wasn't sure if I could. What was I going to say ? we could talk about my recent drug use or new smoking habit. I was to ashamed so I decided against returning his call. I looked around at my messy room. Everything was dirty. I had no motivation to do anything even clean.

"I hate myself" I sighed looking at my reflection in my black phone screen.

"I hate you" I said to my reflection. I hated everything now. I hated waking up and going to bed and just about everything in between. A pit formed in my stomach and I could feel tears begin to swell in my eyes. Nothing's worth it I thought to myself. I'm not worth it. I grew increasingly upset.i could see my hands start to shake. I shook my head as a few tears fell. like a mindless zombie I walked to my kitchen table and picked up the bottle and clenched it in my hand.

"I don't want to be here anymore." I said aloud to myself.
I walked back to my room and sat at the edge of my bed and dumped the remainder if the pills into my hand. I looked down at them while tears fell silently into my pill filled hand. I argued back and forth with myself for just seconds,before bringing my shaky hand up and tossing the pills to the back of my throat. I laid back,feet still off the bed looking up at the ceiling knowing it would be the last time I saw it. I stared and stared until my vision blurred and I blacked out.